I Want To Go To There

Finger Painting!!

2011-10-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

I recently bought Penny some big paper and finger paint. She has totally loved it! I don't know why it took me so long to get some but it has been well worth the wait!

I love how timid she is at the beginning, then by the end, nearly every inch of her is covered in paint.

This is what Pen does when I ask her to smile.

While taking a break, she looks at her belly and

sees a world of canvas opportuity

Reaching in for a hand full

A little tentative at first :)

I adore her chubby little hands

Trying to figure out what her mom just did to her nose

My sweet, happy girl!

Making sure nothing goes unpainted :)

Now she's wondering if it tastes as good as it looks.

Time for a bath!

Start Spreading The News...

2011-10-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

Way back in August, Sarah, Jona and I took a trip to New York City! My family surprised Sarah for her 30th birthday and Jona and I decided what better way for her to enjoy NYC than for us to tag along! :)

We had so much fun. It was HOT and incredibly exhausting but we really did have the time of our lives. I learned quickly, while our on honeymoon, that my husband is an OVER ACHIEVER vacationer. Which means that you shouldn't expect to sleep in or relax. My sister is even worse. The two of them combined create a sightseeing force that is not to be messed with. I am just now getting the feeling back into my feet.

We saw the Metropolitan Museum, Grand Central Terminal, Ground Zero, Museum of Natural History, The Pompeii Exhibit, The Hello Deli, Ed Sullivan Theater, Strawberry Fields, The Dakota, Central Park, Rockefeller Plaza, Top of the Rock, Empire State Building, took a boat to the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Carnegie Deli, Times Square, took ABC tour...

It went on and on. It really was a blast. My poor sister has been suffering from Celiacs, soy allergies, Dairy allergies and every other food allergy you can think of so her food choices at home are pretty limited. As it turns out, NYC is like the mecca of gluten free and vegan restaurants. It was so fun to watch her be able to eat things like pizza and pasta and breadsticks that actually tasted good!

We left Penny with my gracious in laws. We missed her like crazy. By the end of the trip Jona and I kept staring at kids on the subway. We couldn't wait to get back to her but we really had a great time with each other and Sarah.

Here are some pics from the trip...

Sarah and I in Grand Central Station

(which was across the street from our hotel)

Sweatin' it up in the Subways. Seriously every time

we got down there I wanted to cry. Subways are not for me.

Go ahead, call me a snob.

Inside the Met. This place is absolutely incredible.

While at the Met, I made Jona sit down about

100 times to "take a picture".

Holy cow, my feet hurt

Incredible!

(sorry for the butt crack :))

This was my favorite part

Sarah and I got last minute tickets to see Phantom

I cried through the whole thing. Absolutely amazing!

(We also saw Wicked, which was great, but not as good as Phantom)

Sorry for the poor quality.

I think this was right before Wicked

My sister is even beautiful while stuffing her

mouth full of gluten free pizza :)

(Don't hate me for this Sarah)

This was on our last night.

We surprised Sarah by taking her on a sailboat cruise to see the statue of liberty.

It was so beautiful. I didn't get a great picture of it,

but here's one of the skyline on our way back.

Thanks Jona & Sarah for a great trip. Love you both!!

I'm Not Dead Yet

2011-10-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

I've come to terms with the fact that I am a very obnoxious blogger. I would apologize but I'm not sure it's about to change so I'll hold off on that. Hey, at least I'm not as lazy a blogger as this guy :)

I come to realize that my relationship with blogging is a lot like the friend you were supposed to call a while ago. You don't call, forget to call, lose the number, etc. Then you get to a point where you're so embarrassed to run into them that you move to another state and change your name. Thats kinda where I'm at.

I thought I might start another blog but then I realized that no one reads this blog anymore so maybe I'll start with a whole new audience. So welcome, newbies. This blog is filled with consistent, meaningful, life-changing content.

Let the blogging commence!

Pigtails!!

2011-08-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

Ever since I could remember, it has been a dream of mine to have a little girl. Whenever I would picture what she'd look like she would have these cute little pigtails. Imagine my dismay when for the first year of her life, Penny was almost completely bald! I can now say with confidence that my child has hair!

As a matter of fact, she has a killer mullet going on. I have been told several times (ahem Janel) that I need to cut it because its getting a little hillbilly, but I refuse to cut those precious locks that we have been waiting for all these months!

Anyway, If finally gave pigtails a shot and I thought she looked super cute! Here is some photographic evidence...

Yes, I am aware my child looks freakishly tall.

She is really tall for her age, but not that tall!

See what I mean about the mullet?

There's just not much hair on top

This is Pen's BFF the Mr. Vacuum.

Whenever I try to use it she lays down in front of it

As if I am forcing it to clean against its will.

Family Day Away! Ventura

2011-08-06T17:54:00.001-07:00

I started getting big time cabin fever a couple of weeks ago. If you are in So Cal this time of year then you will know that the second you step outside your skin actually melts off your body. Its disgusting. I was very ready to get out of our little condo!

Anyway, we decided to head to Ventura and it was such a perfect day. We had lunch and hit some antique shops that we hadn't been to since our honeymoon. My husband is quite the antique shopper (don't tell him I said that) and has been looking for a cigar shop Indian for quite some time. When he wasn't looking I found the perfect one and bought it. I personally think its really creepy but Jona is absolutely in love. I told him there is one rule he must follow in order to bring "Chief Squatting Tiger" (his name NOT mine) into our home is that he cannot be in my line of sight when I wake up in the morning. So far so good.

After the shops we went down to the beach and rented a beach surry. I had always wanted to rent one before because it looked so fun but boy those things are exhausting. Penny absolutely loved it. She wasn't too keen on the helmet, but really, who is? We were going to rent it for two hours but decided on just one (thank goodness!).

After our little bike ride we went down to the beach and Pen played in the waves with her Dada. I can't tell you how many times I looked at my little family and thanked the Lord for how He has blessed us! I would love another little baby in my arms but God has been so kind to us.

On the way home we stopped at a fruit stand off the 126 and had some amazing strawberries and smoked pistachios. It was such a sweet day. Here are some pics!

Jona and the new love of his life :)

Penny's almost ready to go!

My Studly Hubs

(Who did 99% of the work)

This is Penny's new face. She's not unhappy,

She just likes her lips like that

She's pretty stinking cute in my opinion :)

On the swings! (duh)

There was a seal on the beach.

He didn't seem to be doing to well,

But it was cool to see nonetheless

Pen & her Dada watching the seal

He is such a precious Daddy.

Pen has no idea how lucky she is to have him!

By the way, I was actually there with them :) When I sent my dad some of these pictures he suggested that Jona just took Penny and paid a hobo to take a bunch of pictures. :)

Back In The Swing of Things

2011-07-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

I first would like to thank all of you, both on my blog and on Facebook, for your kindness, your prayers and your encouragement to us. I have been so overwhelmed by the emails, flowers, meals, cards, messages, phone calls and so on. I have been so overwhelmed how the body of Christ works and we have been immensely blessed.

I'll be honest, I was shocked by the number of women who shared with me that they too had miscarried a baby. I couldn't believe it. At least every other message was someone who had gone through the same thing, if not worse (multiple miscarriages or even stillbirths). It has taught me that God's grace is most definitely sufficient. This has hurt like crazy but watching how others have healed, or are in the process of healing has shown me how God provides.

I have been so humbled by friends who have gone through horrible pain with stillbirths, miscarriages and infertility who have taken the time to share with me what God has taught them. I'm also thankful for the friends who haven't experienced that pain but who have come along side and hurt as if they had.

We ended up having to have another D&C, which was unexpected, but I ended up being so thankful for it. It relieved a lot of pain, so I am on my way to being almost completely healed physically.

LAPD allowed Jona to take a lot of time of work so we were together nearly every second these last two weeks. Those were probably the sweetest weeks of our entire marriage. He is such a good, good man. I cannot believe how blessed I am to be his wife! Today was his first day back and I already miss him so much.

We are getting back into the swing of things. My darling Pen is home and is making us laugh all day long. Pray for her if you think of it, I'm almost 100% positive her ear infections have returned. It is time for her to get tubes put in. We have a lot of insurance stuff to work out so hopefully that will be tackled early next week.

I am still struggling with my nights. I'm having a hard time sleeping and can't stop dreaming about sad things. I have worked to find a sense of normalcy. I used heavy cleaning supplies in my bathroom tonight and took ibuprofen which were two things I hadn't been able to bring myself to do. You are not supposed to do either of those while pregnant. I know its silly, but it kinda brought closure.

God has been so kind. He has provided immensely. I am more in love with Him and I'm more in love with my husband and my little girl. I'm thankful for my friends, I'm thankful for God's word, and I'm thankful for what God teaches us through trials.

My sweet friend Michelle shared this passage with me and I have clung tightly to it...

Psalm 31:14

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord.

I say, 'You are my God.

My times are in Your hand'"

July 5th, 2011

2011-07-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

We were planning on getting someone to watch Pen the morning of the ultrasound but because she seemed like she was getting sick, we didn't want to risk spreading it to someone else.

Jona met me immediately after work and we drove down to Glendale Adventist for our ultrasound. We joked around and talked about the baby and laughed about what our doctor would think if he walked in the room and Jona was on the exam table instead of me :) Yep, my husband's sense of humor is bizarre.

We made some small talk with the OB and got ready to see our baby. I was almost immediately encouraged because the sac looked beautifully round and was much bigger than last week, or so I thought. My heart instantly broke in to a million pieces when I heard him say "the baby doesn't have a heart beat". We sat silently and tears streamed down our faces as he looked and looked and didn't say much. He kept telling me to hold my breath so he could get a clearer picture. I'm pretty sure I set a world record trying to be perfectly still. Even Penny was silent for a good 10 to 15 minutes.

I never thought we'd go through that. I never thought we'd lose our baby.

I can't tell you how much I hate hearing the statistics of how often a miscarriage takes place. I don't care if I'm "in the norm" or if 1 out of 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage. It shouldn't be normal. It's a little, precious life that's been lost. It is certainly not normal.

Our doctor gave us his sincere condolences and told us that he felt we needed to have a D&C within the next couple of days. Even that same day if we could. We asked him if we could wait and he said yes, but only a couple of days.

I don't remember how it came about but I told him my ears were really hurting. He checked them, found that I had a double ear infection, prescribed be antibiotics and sent us on our way. Even that was such a blessing that my OB took time out to care for my ears so I wouldn't have to go into a walk in clinic in the middle of all of this.

We each called our parents and cried with them and asked if they would tell our siblings. We headed back to SCV. We asked a friend to take Pen for the day and we just got back to the house and slept for the rest of the afternoon. I don't think it had quite sunk in yet.

Penny was dropped off that night and our friend Janel, who had been watching her, told us she hadn't eaten much and still had a bit of a fever. Just like the night before, Penny laid on my chest and didn't move for hours.

I started realizing how hot she was and I noticed her breathing was becoming really shallow. We tried to give her a shower to cool her off and she just screamed and screamed.

We called our pediatrician and were told we should probably take her into the ER. Another God thing was that we had just switched insurance and have to find a new pediatrician. Even with them knowing that they spent a lot of time on the phone with me and helped us with Pen. I thought that was pretty cool.

It kills me to say I finally noticed how miserable she was. I know there was a lot going on but I don't know how I didn't realize she was acting so lethargic and sickly.

We took her right in and God again showed us His kindness and mercy. We didn't even wait 20 minutes before they triaged her and learned even after several doses of medicine she still had a 105 temp.

For those precious parents whose children are in and out of the hospital with heart breaking illness and disease, my heart goes out to you. There is nothing more painful then holding down your screaming little baby while they poke and prod and test them. Pen and I cried together.

The doctor's and nurses were wonderful and they let me hold her the entire time. In the wee hours of the next morning the test results came back and we found out she had pneumonia and a double ear infection. It was enough to make her pretty sick but I was so grateful it wasn't more serious. Again, God's blessing.

Wednesday was spent taking care of Pen and me driving around to pre-op appointments for my D&C that we scheduled for Thursday.

My incredible inlaws flew home early from their vacation to help take care of Penny. My sister in law helped with Pen and cooked us a meal. Have I mentioned I love my inlaws?

Thursday was hard. So hard. I really struggled with the surgery. I didn't want it, I was so scared and I was just beginning to realize the truth of what had happened.

However, God continued to bless. My nurse was so so sweet. I'm almost certain she was a Christian. The woman in the bed next to us had her husband reading outloud to her. We quickly realized it was The Gospel According to Jesus. How cool huh?

I don't really remember anything about the rest of the day, because apparently they drugged me pretty good afterwards. To me, this is also a major blessing since I don't remember I don't have to keep thinking about it over and over again.

It's been 3 days. The Johnson's have taken care of Penny who is doing SO much better. Jona and I have spent every minute together. All we have done is eat, sleep, watch movies, talk, cry, pray, laugh. It has been such a sweet time. I miss Pen so much and I can't wait to get back to caring for her, but this time with Jona has been an unexpected blessing. I love him more than I ever thought possible. He is an incredible man and I can't stop thanking God for the gift that he is!

I'm hurting, both physically and emotionally. I didn't expect the recovery to be so hard. Night time is the hardest. Im not sure if it's the painkillers or what but every time I close my eyes I have nightmares about our little baby. It has probably been the hardest thing of all.

Another way God has blessed is through people. We have so many hurting with us and praying for us it's overwhelming. I've gotten hundreds of notes and messages, some from people I've never met. It's incredible how God has blessed and encouraged us through so many of you. It has been shocking to read the number of women that I know who have been through miscarriages. You would never ever know. I feel like I walk around and its written on my face. I do believe in a God that heals and I long to get to the point where I have healed some.

I hope it wasn't inappropriate for me to share in such detail. I know that so many have gone through heartache so much deeper. Whether it is infertility or several miscarriages or stillbirths, I take such comfort in knowing God is the God of them all and that He is good in ALL that HE does.

I miss my little one. It's like there is a huge empty space where my baby was. I wish I knew the gender and that we could name it. I can't wait to meet our darling baby in Heaven.

I read this quote a couple of nights ago and I've read it so many times I've memorized it...

"Dry, then, your tears, and cease to mourn, you saints of God.

They are “not lost, but gone before.” Their spirits live with Jesus.

And when He comes, He will bring them with Him,

and you shall see and know them with a cloudless sight and a perfect knowledge."

Octavius Winslow

Thank you again for your kindness and your prayers. It is impossible to miss how God has cared for us through this. He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

Our Little Angel

2011-07-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

Lately sleep has not come easy. Tonight is one of those nights where I've been awake for a couple of hours. I've gotten up to get drinks of water, turn the air off, then on, then off again. I finally decided to see if blogging will help. This will probably be kinda long so I may split it up into two different parts.

I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago and announced to the blogosphere that we are expecting our second baby. We were absolutely thrilled.

We have been trying for almost a year to conceive another baby. I have some slight fertility issues so I have been taking general fertility drugs every month to improve our chances of getting pregnant. It was a difficult time to get our hopes up every month only to be disappointed with a negative pregnancy test.

God was so gracious to us and He placed Godly women in my life to point me to Christ and my sufficiency in Him instead of placing my sufficiency in being able to get pregnant.

We had close friends and family who would pray that God would bless us with another baby and He so graciously answered our prayer on June 5Th when I learned we were 5 weeks pregnant!

Anyway, in this last blog post I wrote about how I found out, how I told Jona (such a sweet, funny moment), how we told our parents and how we taught Penny to announce that she will be a "sissy (sister)".

I was about to finish the blog post and post it when we left for the Resolved conference in Palm Springs. I decided I would post it when I came back. Our time there was extremely difficult. It was blazingly hot, our car broke down, Penny barely slept, I threw up a lot, and several other little trials kept hitting us in the face one by one.

We came home and the very next morning I got to take my mom with us to our ultrasound. I was about 8 weeks pregnant and I was excited for her to see the heartbeat we had seen thumping furiously the week before.

Jona had to wait in the waiting room with Pen because she was having a major breakdown and would not settle down. Our wonderful OB showed us the baby and said, "I can't quite see the heartbeat."
My heart instantly sank. But he didn't seem to concerned because my uterus was tilted and it was something he said was common at this size. He spent a good amount of time looking but ultimately decided not to be worried and to come back in a week so we could look again. I believe at that point I already knew something was wrong but my mom & Jona weren't concerned. I decided to try and distract myself and to pray that our little one was alright.

I hope in writing this you can seen how God's kindness to us simply abounded. An example: Almost right after out appointment I prayed that God would provide a distraction to make the week pass more quickly. Immediately we were asked by dear friends to house sit in their beautiful home. We got to spend the week watching movies and swimming in their pool.

Jona, Penny & I got a cold but it wasn't anything too bad. On the 4th, Jona had to work so Pen and I watched settled in to watch a movie & some fireworks. She snuggled against my chest at about 4pm and by 10pm hadn't moved an inch. I should have known something was wrong.

She barely would eat and she would whimper if moved her. I kept thinking about our appointment the next morning and was too distracted to access little Penny's health like I should have done.

Thankfully my brother-in-law graciously brought me over some Tylenol & a thermometer to see if she had a fever. She did. It was about 103.7 but I gave her some Tylenol and she went to sleep. I watched the Macy's fireworks and fell asleep a little while later.

Where Do I Begin?

2011-06-14T14:00:00.001-07:00

To say that I'm behind in blogging would be the understatement of the year. I can't say that I haven't tried to blog, I just felt like everything I wrote was kind of whiney.

We moved the computer into our bedroom to make some room in our living room. There have been many nights that I couldn't sleep so I would roll out of bed and try to write something. Praise the Lord He always prompted me to wait until morning before thinking about publishing it on here. Once I reread it a few hours later, I would laugh at how dramatic I was being and move on.

I will say that these last six months have been a huge learning experience. I may have mentioned before that my home church (my dad's church) split this last Christmas. It has been extremely painful, as most church splits are, and it really rocked my little world. It has hurt and it still hurts but God has been so gracious through this season. The church is doing so well and God is really blessing in so many ways.

God also used the time to work in my heart and help me see my discontent. I have really struggled with not living close to my family in Washington. It caused dissension in my marriage and a major attitude of bitterness in my heart in several different areas. God has changed my heart so drastically. I adore my family and GBC and I will cherish every opportunity to spend time with them but God has made LA my home and I am so thankful. I have a wonderful husband, home and in laws. It has been such a blessing in disguise in more ways than I can count!

So all that to say, we are doing really well. I am more in love with Jonathan than ever and in my honest opinion, Penny is the cutest thing on the planet. I am several months behind in posting updates and pictures so I will try to be better about that!

Sewing!!!

2011-02-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

Since the beginning of January, Jonathan has been working the night shift. It has been really weird and kinda hard making the transition. It makes it so that I don't get to see him that much, which has been really sad :( Everything is a bit off in our home since he's been on this shift, but one small blessing that comes from it is that it frees up my evenings a little bit to do things I wouldn't do otherwise.

One of those things is a sewing class that I've been taking. My dear mother-in-law bought me a sewing machine for Christmas. I cried. I couldn't believe that she would get me one! The cool thing is that her mother-in-law (Jona's Grandma, Memaw) got her one after she married Jona's dad, so apparently its turning into a tradition of sorts. The tradition will end with me though because if I ever have boys they aren't allowed to get married... Just kidding. ;)

I went to Beverly's, which is literally a block away from my house, to pick up some supplies and saw that they had sign ups for a beginner's sewing class. After I signed up, I learned that a sweet woman I knew from Master's was teaching the class! Perfect!

I just finished the last week of the beginner class and it was a total blast. I learned a lot and I can't wait for the next one (it starts Monday, if anyone is interested, I highly recommend it!). We learned how to make pajama pants and how to work on basic patterns. I don't have any pictures of my pants because I look pretty awful in them, but I do have some pictures of a dress that I just finished for Pen.

Here is a picture of the pattern...

The thing I love about this pattern is that it's easy breezy and it's reversible. I posted these pictures on facebook and a friend commented that it's a perfect dress for a baby because if they spill something on it you can just turn it inside out. That is exactly why I made it. :)

The flip side (Penny being a weirdo)

One second she loved the dress...

The next second not so much...

The Last Couple of Months...

2011-02-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

I have to admit, it was really hard to sit down to try to blog tonight. I have tried several times in the last month but I just really haven't felt like it. I haven't really known what to say. The last couple of months take the cake for the most painful time of my life. There have been a lot of tears shed and a lot of prayers that have, at times, seemed like they are bouncing off the ceiling. There were several different issues that contributed to this season, but I think a lot of it was caused by my own sin.

I got to a place where I felt so angry I just wanted to run away from everything and never come back either that or kill everyone (that was a joke :)). I was desperately seeking to take control of my life when all I needed to do was relinquish control. I know this all sounds rather dramatic, but truthfully, it was pretty awful.

God used so many different things to break me over and over again. My precious husband, my parents, my in-laws, HIS WORD... He took away things and people that I valued so highly and replaced them with Himself. It has been painful, but its also been incredibly sweet.

It was really interesting for a while. I felt so incredibly alone for a several weeks, which was weird. My husband is never too busy to listen or to hold me but I just couldn't communicate my heart to him. I also have some of the most sympathetic, kind, selfless friends and I felt like I just couldn't get them to help me. Not for their lack of trying, but just because I felt like I couldn't connect. One dear friend in particular kept pointing me to where I needed to repent and I would just say, "I know, but I really need you to help me fix this". It finally occurred to me that Christ was the only one that could fix this stuff and He was graciously finding ways to point me back to Him every time I looked toward myself or others.

I think a lot of my sin has been/is being revealed, and I'm so thankful for it (not the sin, the revelation). I have been really overwhelmed trying to sort through my emotions and the sin in my heart, but I have been reminded time and time again that focusing on the cross and on my Savior is the only way to shed the sin, anger and pride that I've allowed to take over my heart.

I know that this is pretty heavy, but I just wanted to share a little bit of where I've been. God is so good, isn't He? I'm so excited to be in Heaven with Him someday away from the pain of this life! In the meantime, I will rejoice in the many blessings He has given! ~~Even~~ Especially the cute, whiny little baby who keeps snotting on my shirt. :)

Penny's First Birthday and Favorite Things post coming up...

Cookies!!

2011-01-20T23:30:00.000-08:00

One of our family traditions is to decorate cookies together. My sister, Sarah, even gives out prizes for the best cookies. I'll be honest.

I should have won this year.

No questions asked.

But Sarah likes to make everyone happy and give out ribbons and prizes to people who don't deserve them.

I'm not bitter.

I swear.

Beautiful Sharon concentrating on her cookies

Jules looking very embarrassed about her husband's decorating abilities

She should have been embarrassed.

This cookies is dumb. I'm not afraid to say it.

I even saw someone say it looked like an Amoeba.

Did he win a ribbon? Clearly Yes.

Should he have won a ribbon? Clearly No.

These were some of Sarah's cookies. They're ok, I guess.

I know what you're thinking...

"She won a ribbon too?! How can that be?

It looks like a rat pooped all over her Christmas tree"

It was so unfair it was unbelievable.

This was dad's cookie. We gave him mad props for even decorating one. In year's past the only award he could have won was "Most Cookies Consumed". But this year he really stepped up to the plate and designed a little basketball player.

Did he win a ribbon? Of course not.

That would be fair. As we can all tell, this competition was not fair

I'll be honest, this one was pretty fair. Scott won a ribbon because he made a gun. It took him a very long time, and he kept it a carefully guarded secret until the bitter end, but I think it was worth it.

Don't tell him I think it kinda looks like a pickle.

Mom also won (yep, basically I'm the only one who didn't).

I'll admit, this cookie was pretty amazing, but she should have been disqualified for her copious use of saliva to get the little sprinkles to stick. Major Foul.

Isn't my Mama gorgeous?

Let's cut to the true winner of the night. Me.

You can go ahead and ignore the deformed cookie woman on the right.

I really think my yoda was incredible and seriously,

Have you ever seen a more beautiful cookie tree?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

You would have thought the knife would have clued them in not to mess with me.

Here's a picture of me with my ribbon...

Oh yeah. That's right. I got robbed.

Seattle

2011-01-20T22:59:00.000-08:00

Another of the family day trips was to Seattle. Seattle is only about 45 minutes away from my house. We hung out at Pike's Place for a little while, but it was pouring down rain. After Seattle we went to the Rain Forest Cafe for my birthday dinner and then we had to drop off Jona at the airport so that he could get back to LA for work. It was very sad :(

I didn't take many pictures, mostly because it was dumping rain. One kinda funny/sad thing happened. Sarah, my Mom, Penny and I were waiting to cross the street when a big bus drove by and shot up a huge spray of water. I backed up as quickly as I could and managed to only get a little spray. I finished crossing the street and ran into Starbucks. I just happened to look down at Pen and she was completely doused. I wish I had a picture of it, but I felt so bad. She had so much water just pouring off her little nose and eyelashes. Needless to say, after that we spent some time in the van trying to get her dried off.

Here she is playing in the front seat...

And waving at people on the sidewalk...

Hey! I know that guy!

Dada!!!!!

I just realized that Jona and I are wearing the same Salish sweatshirts in almost every single picture. Somehow we managed to forget that just because we live in constant hotish, never really cold weather, there are still other places in America that do get cold. We were very unprepared for the chill and had to purchase sweatshirts so that we wouldn't freeze to death.

My favorites :) ...

At the Rain Forest Cafe...

Sisters

Pen & Mama

Pen & Dada

Jona & Steph

(You may have realized by now that Steph works at a tanning salon) :)

Leavenworth

2011-01-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

Leavenworth is one of the coolest places in Western Washington. I love this place. It seems like it was the popular place to go this Christmas since several of my Washington friends have blogged about their trip to Leavenworth this last month.

We packed up the whole family (minus Steph cause she had school) and we drove the two hours it takes to get there. I'll be honest, there were a couple of times I thought we weren't going to make it. I may or may not have been one of the most obnoxious backseat drivers on the trip there (sorry dad :))

The only downside to the trip is that apparently people in Leavenworth don't know how to salt the sidewalks. Both my mom, sister and I totally ate it. Sarah, however, wins the prize for the most dramatic fall of the day. Lets just say, she's lucky she didn't break her back.

Here are some pictures...

Isn't Leavenworth gorgeous!!

My Momma and My Hubs

It was freezing and Pen was completely content to sit

bundled up in her stroller for several hours

Not the best picture, but this is how our cutie looked in her snowsuit

I've got some good lookin siblings. They get it from me :) Haha

Leavenworth is filled with the most adorable shops. This hat shop proved to be too much temptation for some of us. I may have to take back what I said about some people being good looking... :)

I don't actually have words for this...

I actually think this may be an improvement...

There was a picture of my dad in a hat that had a ponytail attached,

but it makes me gag so I won't subject you to it.

Let your imagination run wild (or not)...

On a completely different note, ever since I was a little girl

I dreamed of being kissed in this gazebo. Call me a hopeless romantic. :)

The Sibs minus Steph :(

My little family :)

Salish Lodge

2011-01-17T23:21:00.000-08:00

On our wedding night Jonathan and I stayed at one of my favorite places in the world, Salish Lodge. It is a beautiful resort that sits on top of Snoqualmie Falls. We told each other that no matter what, we wanted to try to go back there once a year. Well, Having babies and a single income hasn't made that exactly possible. :)

The cool thing is that every year Costco has a crazy deal where they give you a night stay, 2 spa treatments and breakfast for 2 for about 40% of the price. Don't you just love Costco? Anyway.. I saved up my piano lesson money and surprised Jona with a night away. My family graciously offered to watch Penny over night (Julie mainly watched her) and off we went.

It was such a gigantic blessing for us to get away by ourselves. My husband seriously deserves a medal with everything he had to put up with this last year. He is my best friend and there is no one I would rather spend time with.

Here are some pictures of the Lodge (I didn't take these :))

Half of the experience of Salish is eating breakfast in their beautiful restaurant that looks over the falls. It is un-stinking-believable. We left our camera at home so all we had was our iphone camera, which is why the pictures are pretty awful. Sorry.

At breakfast. Check out that view!

Warning: Lip Locking :)

It was really cold, but SO beautiful

My favorite...

WA- Christmas Day

2011-01-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas day was the best ever. It was so incredible to have Scott and Sharon with us. It was also the first Christmas with my beautiful sister-in-law and of course our little Penny! God has blessed our family abundantly. These people are my closest friends.

My mom always does such an incredible job decorating. It is so much work and it always takes her forever but there is just something about the way she does it that communicates so much love to us kids. I hope she knows we'll still make her do this even when she's 80! :)

As cute as this picture is, I feel like Julie's outfit deserves an explanation :)

Every year we have competitions in different things and whoever wins gets a prize.

Christmas morning's competition was best PJs.

Believe it or not, Julie didn't win.

(left to right, Mom, Julie, Sharon)

Here is Steph's contribution to the competition. She won :)

I love this picture of Uncle Scotty & my Mom

Mom gave the girls matching socks :)

Steph gave Pen the most adorable puffy jacket!

She loved it...

Alot...

Even if it made her really top heavy :)

Once again, Penny was spoiled rotten

Uncle Scott & Aunt Sharon gave her the coolest book

Probably her coolest gift of all was a mini bounce house!!

More to come!

WA-Christmas Eve (New Year's Eve)

2011-01-13T22:17:00.000-08:00

After our several Christmas celebrations in California we headed up to beautiful Washington to celebrate Christmas and New Years with my family.

I can honestly say that it was one of the sweetest times with my family in the last few years. We were all together and we were even joined by our sweet friends Scott and Sharon Frankfurt who have always been a part of the fam.

2010 was the year of some major trials and hurts both individually and as a family. God was so gracious to allow us to be together and to just experience such precious times of fellowship and laughter (and food, ha ha).

We celebrated Christmas Eve on New Year's Eve (I know, we are really confused on our dates :)) at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Its kinda been a tradition for us these last several years and this year was no exception. We were all pretty tired, especially Pen. But she had a good friend (Malia) and a spoon to hang out with.

Malia is the adorable daughter of our good friends Mark & Laurie Anne Ruhlman. We have known them for a long time and they have always been such kind friends to all of us. Malia is the sweetest, most laid back, best behaved little baby. My dad always says she needs to witness to Pen & get her saved. Its probably true! :)

Please ignore Malia's bruise and Penny's booger :)

Penny quickly grew tired of being witnessed to and entertained herself with a spoon for a little while. She seriously looked so funny but she just wouldn't let go of this spoon. She probably dropped 4 or 5 spoons of the dirty floor so by the end of dinner no one had their spoon.

"What? You would play with a spoon too if you were this bored"

"Look Mom! No hands!"

Our little genius :)

Penny also loves drinking out of anyone's and everyone's glass.

She can't get enough of it which is why her little shirt is all wet.

It's not drool I promise.

Here's a little break from the Penster.

My hot husband and my gorgeous sister, Stephanie...

One more spoon pic to finish it off! Isn't she a cutie!?

We were so exhausted from flying in earlier that morning that Jona, Pen and I all went to sleep before the ball dropped. We are getting SO old! :)

Next...

Christmas Day (New Year's Day)

Christmas Part 2

2011-01-12T21:14:00.000-08:00

As is usual for us, Jona wasn't actually off on Christmas day so we had to adjust our schedule a little bit. We celebrated our Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve's Eve and our Christmas on Christmas Eve. Did I lose you? :)

After spending the night out in the living room we woke up with very sore backs and with a very tired baby (and mommy) after the party Pen decided to throw herself all night. We still were so excited to have our first little Christmas as a family of three.

We quickly realized we had made a new parent rookie mistake. We had bought Pen the coolest little kitchen and we were so excited to have her walk in to the living room to find it in front of the tree. I had Jona take her in the other room while I opened the box and realized we were supposed to ASSEMBLE it. Who would have thought?! Anyway we went on without it and Jona put it together really late that night. It took the poor guy 4 hours! But Christmas (real Christmas) morning was totally worth it to see how much she loved her little kitchen!

Going back little bit, after we opened our gifts that morning we went over to Jona's parent's house for the Johnson family Christmas. Every major holiday Phil (my father-in-law) makes his famous, homemade, Chicago style pizza. We had so much fun together and we were all spoiled like crazy. Penny got so many fun toys and adorable outfits. It was a blast.

Here are some pictures from the afternoon...

Ray (my adorable nephew) got an awesome little dump truck which

provided endless amounts of entertainment for the rest of the day :)

See, told you :)

Tired little Penny cuddling with "Hoss" (Grandpa)

We had so much fun!!

(Thanks to my sil Anne for these pictures!)

Christmas!

2010-12-29T22:44:00.000-08:00

I am several posts behind and I'm just now posting this Christmas. We actually just came home yesterday from our last Christmas (we had 5 this year!) in Washington. I will post about our trip in another post but for now and here are a few pictures!

This is at our house. This years for the gifts I decided to steal an idea from one of my favorite movies, Sound of Music, and do brown paper packages tied up with strings...

The polka dotted darling on the couch isn't a Christmas decoration per say, but she is the cutest thing in the house, so I thought I would include her :)

This is such a typical California thing, warm clothes, fleece jacket, yet completely barefoot.

I blame her mom.

This is from our Christmas Eve. Our tradition is to sleep out "under the tree" but I have yet to sleep on any of these nights. Our first year I couldn't sleep because right before we were about call it a night I saw a spider on my pillow. Last year I was 9 months pregnant and wasn't sleeping regardless of where I was. This year I had a 10 month old who spent the majority of the night climbing on my head. I think she was excited ;)

We also had a Christmas night with David and Julie (my brother and sister in law) since we didn't want to have to pack each other's gifts up to Washington. I cooked a ham and we had a great time together. Penny absolutely loved the fun gifts they gave her. We love them!

Pen and her new puzzle from Uncle David and Aunt Julie

To Be Continued...

10/11 Months Old!

2010-12-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

Our little girl is almost a year old! I haven't blogged in a while and I have some catching up to do. Our lives have completely changed in this last month and Penny has had a big part to play in that. She is walking! She started walking at about 9 1/2 months and now is full speed ahead. I love this stage, it is so much fun to watch her discover new things!

Penny was really sick for quite a while and is finally healthy. It is amazing how different she is when she is feeling well. She is a blast! She has such a funny personality and it seems like her number one goal is to make us laugh. Which we do, all the time!

She absolutely loves her Dada and we hide from him every night when he comes home until he finds us. When he picks her up and starts to tell me about his day she will physically turn his face toward her to make sure he's looking at her. Its pretty stinkin cute.

We have entered into a whole new realm of discipline with this little stinker. We went to a Christmas party where there was a little boy who had the most ear shattering scream when he tried to get his parents attention. Penny thought that was a great idea and that she should start using it on us. Not quite our favorite form of communication. She also learned the graceful art of arching her back when she doesn't get her way. Its been a bit more challenging to direct her little heart to obedience but God has been gracious to forgive us for our many shortcomings as new parents.

She finally has two little teeth and her hair is JUST beginning to come in. She's working on a really great little mullet:) She loves dancing and playing on her toy drum. Her two absolute favorite things are talking to her Oma (my mom) on the phone every morning and going over to her Hoss and Gramma's (Jona's mom & dad) house. She has been so blessed with some pretty awesome grandparents and aunts & uncles!

Here are some pictures of the last couple of months...

Those big brown eyes will be the death of us :)

Cuddling with Dada

Playing at Gramma's. It is apparently easier to

go over rather than around :)

Trying on the snowsuit

Dancing!

Penny in her robe :)

Life is so hard :)

Playing with Uncle Jed!

Probably my favorite picture of the month :)

Here is a short video of Penny and her cousin Ray...

5 Years Fighting Crime

2010-11-15T13:06:00.000-08:00

If you've already passed out by the sheer studliness of the man in this picture, you may not want to continue reading.

<----That, ladies and gentlemen, is MY husband.

Crime Fighter Extraordinaire.

Defender of the Weak

Protector of the Peeps

Can you tell that I'm proud to be his wife?! Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of Jona becoming a member of the LAPD. We didn't have a party, he didn't get a cake, what he did do was let me sleep in, change dirty (very dirty) diapers, rub my feet and did the dishes, among many other tasks.

That is why I love him.

When I was in high school and college I would tell everyone who would listen, that I would never, ever, EVER marry a cop. My family was close to an officer who died in the line of duty and I wanted to stay far far away from being a police wife.

I think I got over the fear of being married to a police officer but then I decided that the majority of them were jerks. This opinion was developed after receiving a couple of (well deserved) tickets.

Anyway, when I met Jonathan my entire opinion changed. I certainly didn't marry him because he was a cop. He could have been a trash man or professional tap dancer for all I cared, it was his character and integrity on and off the job that attracted me to him.

One of the things I respect most about him is that he doesn't bring his job home with him. Don't get me wrong, there are things that we talk through and situations that he needs to process, but at work he is tough and authoritative and at home he is kind and gentle and leads us lovingly.

Babe, thanks for everything you do both at home and at work. I am so proud of you and I am so thankful that God has kept you safe these last five years! I love you!

Trip To Washington

2010-11-13T10:04:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I went to visit my family in the beautiful, glorious Washington state. The purpose of my trip was to be there as my best friend Amy Carruthers gave birth to her second son. It was so great to be there with Amy and her family and to also spend some time with my family.

I spent some time at the hospital with Amy and John (her husband). One of the days we were there my sister Sarah was taking her preschool class to the pumpkin patch. My other sister, Stephanie and Penny and I tagged along and we had a total blast! Here are some pictures from our trip.

Here is beautiful Amy with little Nathan John Carruthers

Penny with Aunt Steph

She was not a big fan of taking this picture

I can't remember if she was laughing or crying here

(Probably crying)

What is this thing?!

"Hey mom, how much longer do I have to sit here?"

"Okay, I'll give you a smile"

9 Months Old!!

2010-11-01T22:34:00.001-07:00

So I skipped 8 months accidentally. I'm sure you're not too torn up about it :) I don't even know what happened in that month. Believe it or not I actually just ordered her baby book. I know, super lame. I kept thinking that I needed to get it but I thought it wouldn't really matter since I was journaling it all, but as the whole world knows, that journal is lost forever... Soooooo all I really remember now is her birthday. (You think I'm joking)

Anyways!! I just took her in for her 9 month appointment and she is still our little string bean! She is still super skinny and super tall. She is 95th percentile for height and 25 for weight.

She has now been sick for 8 weeks straight with maybe a day or two of reprieve. Poor little thing! She has had fluid in her ears for a while too so it's looking like we may be visiting the ear/throat/nose doc. Bring on the tubes! She's also finally cutting her first tooth so that probably adds to her discomfort.

I can hardly believe this, but she is almost walking. She can stand up from sitting without holding on to anything and she can stand on her own for about 45 seconds at a time but she is still too freaked out to take a step.

I am finding that 9 months changes everything I thought I knew about being a mom. I feel like every aspect of this little girl has changed in the last couple of weeks. Some of the changes have been a wee bit difficult to adjust to but I still am loving this. For one, she has decided that she's afraid of everyone except for her Dada and I. She refuses to play by herself and cries almost every time I put her down. She's doing the famous "Nine Month Eating Strike" and has dropped a couple pounds in my opinion. Its been an interesting transition but more on that in a later post...

She LOVES pudding and eats pretty much everything, including the dust bunnies on our living room floor. She, like most babies, is extremely curious and I find myself saying, "Thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you Lord" about 100 times a day in extreme gratitude to our Lord who protects her from 100 injuries.

One quick story of God's protection... Last week she was being super clingy and very sad and I didn't have anyone else to watch her so I decided to bring her in the shower with me. I gave her some bath toys to play with but she was FREAKING OUT because she is apparently terrified of water now too, so I picked her up while I tried to rinse the shampoo out of my eyes and hair. I thought she had one of her bath toys in her mouth, but when I finally opened my eyes and looked at her I realized, to my horror, that she had my razor IN HER MOUTH. I very carefully took it out of her mouth and began my "thank you Lord..." I still can't believe she didn't get cut!

The Lord has been so good to us and our little monkey! Here are some pictures from month 8 & 9...

I like to call this picture "Pengelina"

(If you don't get the joke, don't worry, it's not that funny)

This is Pen's new smile. I'm a fan :)

A picture from the WA pumpkin patch

(more to come soon...)

Pen & Mama

Penny and the goldfish fiasco

Penny the Ladybug

This picture cracks me up. She looks like she's on something :)

This may be one of my all time favorite pictures.

I love this little girl!!

Piano Lessons and Waterfalls

2010-09-21T11:43:00.000-07:00

It's been quite sometime since I shared another cringe worthy moment of my life. I'm not quite sure why I'm sharing this one. Maybe someone out there will feel better about themselves just by knowing that there is no possible way anything like this could ever happen to them.

Some of you may not know that I teach piano lessons. I have been teaching since I was in sixth grade and I can honestly say that I really enjoy it. However, there are times that teaching piano lessons can go horribly horribly wrong. This is about one of those times...

When I was in high school I had at least 20 students at a time. Some of those students loved me, some of them hated me. One of those latter students was a little boy that we will call Bobby. Bobby hated piano lessons. Thinking back on those lessons together, I don't really blame him. Not only was poor Bobby stuck taking a lesson from me once a week, but immediately after that lesson, I would go to his house and babysit him and his brother while his parents went out on a date. Poor poor Bobby.

Anywho...On this particular fateful night, his parents got us a large garlicky delicious pizza to eat before our lessons began and lets just say that after I consumed my portion, my breath smelled less than fresh. It was time to begin our lesson and since Bobby was already being dragged over to the piano by his mother, I thought I wouldn't add to his agony by being forced to smell my horrible garlic breath.

On my way over to the piano I found a packet of those little Listerine strips sitting on the counter. I had never tried them before but since they promised "cool mint" breath I thought I would give them a shot. I grabbed a couple, sat down and gave Bobby some beginning instructions before I put them in my mouth.

Me: "Ok Bobby, let's check your music theory first before we get started."

Bobby: "I didn't do it"

Me: "Um ok. How about we do it together?"

Bobby: "(grumble grumble grumble)"

Me: "How 'bout we kneel on the floor and use the piano bench as a table"

Bobby: "(grumble grumble grumble)"

As he opened his book and begrudgingly worked on his theory assignment, I decided it would be the perfect time to stick about 4 of those thin little pieces of magical freshness on my unsuspecting tongue.

Those who know me, know that I am extremely sensitive to tastes/smells. I've been known to wig out over a sip of lemonade. Let's not forget my aversion to pico de gallo. No matter how sissy my taste buds are, I've never had a reaction like this.

The moment those little babies hit my tongue, my mouth flooded with saliva faster than bird bath in a monsoon. Instantly my eyes, nose and mouth started pouring drool. I couldn't swallow fast enough. It literally took everything I had to not aspirate on my own spit. It sounds a lot prettier than it actually was, trust me on this.

Bobby, completely absorbed in his own misery, seemed to not notice my drowning next to him.

Bobby: "How many beats does a dotted half note get?"

I tried to open my mouth to answer, but instead of an audible response all Bobby got was Niagara Falls.

Yep. I drooled. ON. HIS. HAND.

It was as though I took the biggest drink of water possible, placed my face directly over his hand and simply opened my mouth.

The poor kid, with eyes wider than saucers, looked at his hand and then looked at me in complete and utter horror.

Bobby: "DID YOU JUST DROOL ON ME?!!!"

I, of course, did what anyone would do, I took his hand and attempted to dry it off on my pants the best I possibly could. I don't think that helped matters because he immediately stood up and started wailing. It was then that I noticed his dad had been standing at the head of the piano. Watching us. The entire time.

Needless to say, Bobby never had to take another piano lesson, and I've never eaten another piece of pizza. Half of that statement is true.

7 Months!!

2010-09-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

So this post is waaayyy late. Penny actually turned 8 months old today :) My phone broke and is currently unable to sync to the computer so I can no longer take the pictures off my phone. I'm trying to take more and more pictures with our camera because the quality is so much better than my phone and its easier to upload them. I realize no one cares about these mundane details...

This month was a little hard on the poor Pen. She was sick for the majority of it. She had a cold for a couple of weeks and it just seemed to be getting worse and worse. Like the great mom that I am, I put off going to the doctor because I thought it was just a little cold and she'd get over it.

It turns out that she had a double ear infection and one of her little eardrums was just about to burst. It was very sad :(. What was even more sad was that the antibiotics they gave her did not treat her very kindly. She was so sick, poor little thing. We had some major poopage going on over here. That turned into a nasty diaper rash that would just make her scream when I tried to change her and on and on. Thankfully we've finished the antibiotics and now shes more back to normal.

In spite of all that, she is growing like crazy. She is so close to walking and standing on her own. I didn't expect it to start this soon but I'm excited for this next milestone! She loves her daddy more than ever and she won't take her eyes off of him if he enters the room. She recently started shaking her head "no" although I don't think thats what she means by it. She is a major joy to our hearts and we love her so much!!

Here are some 7 month pictures...

Little Pen spent lots and lots of time with her humidifier...

And feeling pretty miserable :(...

Having fun at the doctor's office (P.S. This is right

before she pooped on the Dr. & I had to bathe her in the sink. Not Fun)....

Playing with her new friend (pre-pooplosion)

Humidifier/Naptime

One of Penny's favorite things to do is play under the sheets...

I am madly in love with her eyelashes :)...

Not the cutest picture ever, but I think her eyes

are getting bigger and bigger. They're gonna eventually

take up her whole face :)...

Penny also LOVES giving kisses!

One fun thing that Pen got to do is go to her cousin Ray's first birthday party!

A little walking motivation...

Penny & Mommy

The End!!

Penny's Pink Pedal Car

2010-08-25T12:01:00.001-07:00

A few months ago, Penny recieved this adorable little pedal car from a sweet friend of ours. We haven't given it to her yet because she was still a little too young for it. Recently though, we've noticed her pulling herself up on everything she possible can and may be even getting close to walking!! We decided to see what she would think of the car and she was SO EXCITED!!

Feel free to ignore the laundry on the couch as well as my husband's foot which manages to find its way in the majority of the pictures.

Here daddy brings it to the top of the stairs...

Here's her expression as we bring this little bit of pink magic into her life. (In case any of you are gagging at what she is playing with, its clean, we don't use it on her and there are no boogies in there.)...

Then total freak out excitement takes place...

Here it is along with my husband's blurry, pasty white leg :)

"Wow! This thing is amazing!!"

If you'll notice, this picture is smaller than the others. I decided to bless each of you by not including even more of my husband's leg. But look at her face!!

Penny riding the car for the first time (sorry its blurry) ...

SO HAPPY!!!!

She loves her car! (another blurry pic, but she kept dancing so it was hard to get a good shot)

One of my all time favorite pictures!!!

The End!!

Crafting Attempt #1

2010-08-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

I don't want to scare anyone, but I think I may be on my way to crafting! If you'll remember, I wrote a blog post a couple months ago about my inability to do most things domestic. I've since tried to remedy that and I think I may be approaching a little success! Maybe.

I was totally inspired by my mom who made these super cute birdy pillows for my brother & sister in law as a wedding present. I don't have a picture of them but I do have some pictures at my attempts to expound on the idea.

I realize that some of you expert crafters (is that the word to use?) will probably fall out of your chair at how easy this is, but cut me some slack, drawing stick figures takes great effort for me.

I first traced this little guy...

Then I outlined him in blue

Then I filled him in with purple french knots which took me FOREVER!

After Eddie, I decided to do another bird in navy blue...

So this is where I'm at so far...

So it doesn't look that good yet. This one is my practice one. This is what I'm hoping to accomplish, something that looks like this...

Or something along these lines...

Those last two pillows are being sold for $100 & $125!! Isn't that crazy! I would love to get good enough at the birds to put them on Etsy but I could never justify trying to sell them for that much! You would have to be high on crack to buy a pillow like mine for that much!

Anyway, I'll show you later how it turns out. Feel free to offer any suggestions too to make it better (which I know there are probably millions of ways to improve on my sad looking little birds :)).

Somewhere Out There, A Hitchhiker Thinks I'm Crazy

2010-08-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

Nice blog title huh? Well it's true. If we're friends on Facebook you've already seen me cry over what happened last Sunday. If not, I'll tell you what happened.

Last week as we were getting Penny in the car for church, I'm pretty sure that I set my journal and Bible on top of the car. I always have a ton of stuff and I had my breakfast in my hands too so I think that I must have just forgotten to get the journal and Bible off of the car and we just took off.

When we were sitting in the service I asked Jona if he knew where they were and immediately I had this sinking feeling, knowing what I had done. We looked and looked and even redrove the route but we couldn't find them anywhere.

As bad as it sounds, I was far more concerned about the journal than I was the Bible. The Bible was just a random one that we had and I hadn't written notes in it, I figured it could be easily replaced and whoever had the old one (Mr. Hitchhiker) would hopefully be better off because of it. I can't say the same about the journal. I was SO SAD.

I've been writing in that journal for over a year. I found out I was pregnant with Penny and I wrote all my thoughts over the course of the pregnancy. The night before she was born, both Jona and I wrote her notes that we hoped she would read some day.

I would say this last year was by far the hardest year of my entire life. I cried many times while writing in that journal. I wrote while I was in labor with Pen and I wrote her notes after she had been born. I don't know, maybe people won't understand, but to me it was such a precious treasure. I can honestly say that I value that journal more than any other material possession that I own.

Anyway... It's lost. I wrote about it on Facebook and received several sweet and sympathetic comments from friends and other mom's who totally understood the significance of it. As I was reading their comments, there was a couple who said, "maybe someone will find your journal and get saved through what they read there." I'll be honest, I about choked when I read that. Not because it was stupid in the least bit, but because it convicted me so much.

I started thinking about what I had written. If some random person (Mr. Hitchhiker) picked it up on the side of the road, what would they learn about me? Here are some things I came up with...

1. They would see that I love Penny

2. They would see that I love Jona

3. They would see that I can sometimes be impatient with Penny or angry with Jona for selfish and completely insignificant reasons.

4. They would learn that I hate exercising and dieting.

5. They would learn that I love my friends Rachel, Michelle, Beth and Lisa and that I wanted to be more like them.

6. They would learn how much I miss Washington and my family

7. They would read about the people I struggle with and they would learn that I am rarely content in my circumstances.

8. Maybe they would, every so often, see sermon notes or maybe even a spiritual quote that hit me here or there.

That's about it. That's what they would learn about me. Then they would probably burn it because they wouldn't want anyone else to read about how neurotic I am :)

But in all seriousness, they would learn about ME. Every single statement is about me. If they became a Christian through this loss it would have to be solely because of the Bible with the journal. The point is, they would learn nothing about who God is. It made me kind of sick to think about.

My journal contains my most intimate and emotional thoughts, few of which are about my Lord and Savior. I isolate my devotions (when I have them) to think about God during that time, but it doesn't often permeate the rest of my thoughts or struggles or joys.

I'm not sure that I am thankful that I lost my journal, but I am thankful for the lesson it taught me. It was such a humbling lesson. My sweet sister Julie bought me a new journal. I'm excited to fill this one up with my thoughts and who knows, when I'm done maybe I can dump it somewhere on the side of the road for Mr. Hitchhiker to get the rest of the story.

Six Months!!

2010-08-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

This is just getting stupid. I'm done with her growing up!! I know I say that every month but I REALLY mean it this time. She is getting so big, I just want her to freeze! Blah blah blah. I know, she's got to get bigger, and I will love the next stage. Blah blah blah....

She's so fun! Her personality is really coming out, and I've got to be honest, she's a little spaz! We love it though. She just had her 6 month appointment last week and she is SO tall!! She now weighs 16 lbs (50th percentile) and is 27.5 inches (95th percentile!). The doctor was really pleased with her growth and development and we praise the Lord for it!

She is crawling which is a blast, although sometimes her little wires get crossed and she starts crawling backwards. It's pretty funny to watch because she is trying to get to something and she gets more and more confused as she moves herself further and further away. She sits up unassisted and is eating solids, which she seems to really enjoy (minus the squash).

She adores her daddy and loves cuddling with her mommy. I can't wait for her to start talking. I am dying to hear what is going on behind her funny expressions.

I was really thrown for a loop with the whole sin nature thing. I think the one piece of advice I would have liked to get before I had kids, was that I was gonna have to discipline so soon. I thought it would be at least a year. Boy was I wrong. She really wants to march to her own little drum, which would probably be cute except for that little drum wants to kill her. She has repeatedly tried to kamikaze herself off her changing table. She honestly has done a great job of responding to correction (as mild as it is) and gets a huge smile on her face when I tell her "good girl!". Man I love this kid!!

Here are some pictures of the monkey...

Newlyweds!!

2010-08-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have so much blogging to catch up on I don't really know where to begin. I guess we'll have to start with the most beautiful wedding of the year! My awesome brother married Miss Julie Zeller (now Zimmer).

We traveled down to San Diego for the weekend and got to watch them commit the rest of their lives to each other. It really was beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, my sister-in-law is quite possibly one of the most beautiful girls on the planet. She is kind, godly, loving, funny and so many more things that have made my family just fall in love with her. She's beautiful on the outside too which is actually a little annoying. People keep coming up to my sisters and I and say "how do you feel having such a beautiful sister in the family now?". Isn't that a weird question? Apparently we were a bunch of uglies and now Cinderella made her way in. :) Just kidding, although I have admitted once or twice that I hope she gets fat. Ok, this blog post is going down hill fast!

Anyway... the ceremony was precious. My brother wrote and sang a song to Jules that was gorgeous. My sisters and I were so dehydrated by the end of it from crying so hard. That boy can write a song! Both Julie's dad and my Papa married them and really did a great job challenging them to have a marriage that honor's the Lord.

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was that my Aunt Carol and cousin Bethy came from Georgia to celebrate with us. THEY ARE A BLAST!! I wish they lived closer.

Here are some pics from the event!! (I have no idea why the pictures downloaded like this, but you get the idea)

My parents, David & Jules

My sisters and I

Our little family

David's song. (Ignore the pom pom coming out of her head :))

The Ladies (Aunt Carol & Bethy)

Precious!

Sorry, I just had to throw this in, she had a blast with her daddy :)

I can't get enough!

The Happy Couple

Sleepy baby!!

I am so thrilled to have Julie as my new sister! Love them!!

Mr. Patient

2010-07-28T20:10:00.001-07:00

I have so much blogging to catch up on. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this little story that perfectly demonstrates the day to day in my marriage with Jonathan.

He had very graciously offered to take the trash out for me. I gave him the kitchen and bathroom trash then told him that there were several boxes at the top of the stairs that needed to be recycled.

He was standing at the bottom of the stairs and I was at the top. Then this happened...

Jona: If those boxes are empty you can throw them down to me.

Me: Ok

Jona: Are they empty?

Me: Yeah, totally.

Then as I threw them down the stairs as I said...

Me: They kinda have trash in them.

And of course trash went ALL over the stairs. We laughed pretty hard at my stupidity and he graciously cleaned up after me as I went on my way to take care of another mess I had caused.

If that isn't love,I don't know what is!

5 Months Old!!

2010-07-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

I'm a little bit behind on this one, but at least she'll still be 5 months for a couple more weeks. :) I know everyone says that every stage just gets better and better, but this one most definitely takes the cake. She has developed such a cute little personality and I love her sense of humor and the things that make her laugh.

She can now roll over front to back and back to front, which I'll admit, before Pen, whenever I would see a parent brag about their child doing this boring activity, I always thought they needed to get a life, but when Pen does it, I cheer like she just built a bird house. Let me take a sec and apologize for the 6! comma's that last sentence contained. Moving on...

She's also sitting up and can stand while holding on to the couch, coffee table, or if she's on my lap, by pulling on my hair. She has finally learned to occupy herself for long periods of time which means I have finally resumed showering.

Every day I am falling more and more in love with her little idiosyncrasies. She can't fall asleep in her crib unless she's buried her face in her lamb or unless she is touching my face. It melts my heart every time. She loves cuddling and loves to rest her head on my chest or shoulder when I hold her.

One of her new little games is to take her blanket and put it on her face. She makes a ton of noise like she's smothering herself and she'll kick her legs like crazy until all of the sudden she'll stop moving. I can't tell you how many times I've thrown myself across the room terrified that she's passed out. I'll run over to her and throw the blanket off her face which is then followed by her looking up at me with a giggle and the biggest smile ever. She gets such a kick out of freaking me out. Not cool Pen, not cool.

Here's what I mean...

I've been thinking and praying through a lot of things as I am learning to train this one to be obedient to God's word and love Christ through her attitudes and actions, but that's waaaaayy too long for this post. In the meantime, here are some pictures of our little Penelope...

This picture is from Picture People. They were giving away a free 10x13 so we decided to do it, since it wouldn't cost anything (you're welcome for the redundancy). The funny thing was immediately after we were done, they tried to sell us a picture package for $1,000!! Really? We walked in for one free picture and they thought "Well now that we got them to pose for a picture, maybe they'll now decide to sell their child to be able to afford our Heirloom Package." No thanks.

P is for Penny

2010-06-29T18:17:00.001-07:00

"What is this thing?"

"Maybe I should smell it"

"Hmm... I wonder...."

"... If I can eat this"

"Yep"

"Kinda hard to fit in my mouth though..."

"Oh, hey mom!"

P is for Peppy!

P is for Perky!

P is for Pretty!

P is for Pensive

P is for Playful

P is for Potty Time ;)

Penny and the Pink Pants

2010-06-20T21:17:00.001-07:00

I've gotten a little behind on posting some pictures recently, so the next couple of blog posts will probably just be mini albums of our monkey.

I got these pants at Baby Gap and I absolutely love them even if they're too big on her still. I love this kiddo!

P.S. My husband keeps telling me that I write captions incorrectly, that they're supposed to go below the picture. So I will take heed to his advice, even though to me it seems like you should read it first then post it.

"What mom? It's picture time?"

Hmmm.... Maybe mom won't notice if I walk away

"Mom how 'bout we forget about the pictures and you

just come sit right here, next to me"

"So how do you want me to pose? Like this?"

"How 'bout all cool, with my arms up, like a gangsta"

"This is my model pose"

"Let's take a break and hug it out" :)

We moved to the floor where I got one of my favorite pictures of Penny ever! She's so cute I could just eat those cheeks! :)

Then she looked up at me with this really exhausted look on her face.

I took a break to look at some of the pictures I took and when I looked back at her she was like this...

The End!!

Open Hands

2010-06-12T23:04:00.001-07:00

I realize that I seldom write serious blog posts and that most of my blogging content isn't in any way life changing, unless you learn lessons about sitting on flags, but I have recently been processing through some things and I hope you'll allow me the opportunity to share my heart.

Last night, after a wonderful date with my sweet husband, we picked up Penny from my in laws house and brought her home. As I started putting her to bed she woke up and could not have been sweeter. She wouldn't stop smiling at me as I changed her diaper, put her in her pj's and rocked her and fed her a bottle. She just kept looking deep into my eyes and then would give me the sweetest smile. I swear if she could have spoken she would have told me she loved me. It was just one of those moments.

When she finally stopped smiling and fell asleep, I tried to put her in her crib but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't let go of her. I brought her into my bed and laid down next to her and just repeatedly kissed her soft cheeks and her perfect little lips. My heart was so full of love for her, I thought it would explode. All I could do was thank God over and over again for her.

Back when I was pregnant with Penny, in the middle of those several long, sleepless nights, I would look for blogs to read to help pass the time. For some reason almost every other blog I would find would be written by a mother or father who were processing through the death of a child. There was something about their stories that would grab a hold of my heart and not let go.

I read about a mom who lost her twin babies to a rare disease when the babies were 4 & 6 months old and her amazing testimony through that time.

I read about a mom who's precious 3 year old little girl accidentally drowned in a swimming pool while on a family vacation.

I read about a precious young family who lost their adorable 3 year old little boy to a horrible sickness.

I know that it sounds morbid, and I'm sure that you would like me to get to my point, but I had to try to understand how these people could try to work through this unimaginable grief as something so precious could be ripped away from them.

Apart from the blogs, even in everyday life there were people I knew, some very well, who were having stillborn births and miscarriages and heart breaking struggles with infertility. It didn't make sense to me why I was allowed to have a baby and I was almost certain that she would be "taken" from me. I started feeling guilty that I was pregnant and even felt as though God had made a mistake.

I remember at the beginning of the pregnancy when I should have been 7 weeks but nothing was appearing on the ultrasound. I was bleeding heavily, and thought for sure that we were losing our first baby. It seemed to me at the time that it would make sense if God would take her because I wasn't spiritually ready to be a mom. All the same, I begged God not to take this little life that I had already come to love so deeply. When I hit 13 weeks I thought, "thank goodness! She's safe". I soon realized, through other people's loss, that there really is no such thing as safe and I resumed my pleading with God to let me keep her.

After she was born, I became even more surrounded with other people's heart crushing losses and I would weep over their pain & hold Penny even tighter. I made it a point to think of every second as important and precious. When I begin to get impatient, remember that I have been given a blessing that could so easily be gone in the blink of an eye. I don't think that I lived in fear, it was and is not in my nature to worry, but I was determined to attempt to be so thankful for every moment.

Randomly, I decided recently to read in 1 Samuel for my devotions, not even thinking about the book's beginning. I was reminded about Hannah and her vow to give her son back to God if He would bless her with one. That's when again it was made clear to me that PENNY IS NOT MINE.

She belongs to God.

She exists to bring God glory. He can't ever take her from me because she was never mine to begin with. You may be rolling your eyes at how long its taken me to figure this out, but to me it was kinda life changing in the way I view the gift of children. It takes so much pressure off knowing that she belongs to God and He will do what is perfect for her and for me.

I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a child and I still pray that I won't have to see that day, but if it does happen, I hope that my heart remembers that she never belonged to me, I was just chosen to point her back to her Creator. To feel guilty is literally to say to God that He doesn't know what He is doing and that He made a mistake.

I love this verse when Hannah says "'Therefore I have given him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be given to the Lord.' So they worshiped the Lord there."

The Idiot's Guide to Homemaking

2010-06-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

For some reason the whole pregnancy nesting thing hit me about 5 months late. I don't know what's wrong with me, but recently I've been keeping myself awake at night dreaming about all of the cool things I could do to my home, or a dress I could make for Pen, or a cool craft I could make as a gift for friends. I've been begging my husband for a sewing machine to make our curtains and bedding and clothing and on and on. The possibilities are endless! The problem is I don't really sew.

I've also considered planting some flower & cute little trees in our little 6x8 area by the entrance to our condo. The problem is I don't have a green thumb. Horticulturally speaking, I don't even have thumbs. I have however managed to keep an orchid alive since December but all I did was throw on a couple of ice cubes every few days. I recently decided to repot (is that what you would call it?) because I just had the strongest desire to get dirt on my hands and it immediately died. If I had been listening close enough, I probably could have heard it crying.

I started playing around in the kitchen a little bit, but all that happened was we started putting on some serious poundage. So I tried cooking healthier and that just tasted gross and was completely unsatisfying. Now we're on stupid diets which mean we hardly eat anymore so that was pretty pointless.

In all fairness, I can clean a toilet and do a mean load of laundry. Occasionally my house is clean and my child is fed and changed but when it comes to the "extras", I haven't quite gotten anything else down.

I don't mean to come across discontent, but I would love to fill my days with sewing and crafting. I would love to be creative enough to start my own little business making some kinda of jewelry or sewing projects but so far, all I've really been able to make is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a scarf. I guess I made a kid too, but I'm not really looking to sell :)

Here are some people that can do what I'm talking about...

My friend Dana MAKES these! Isn't that the cutest little clutch that you've ever seen?! She didn't ask me to give a commercial for her but I'm gonna anyway. She started an Etsy account and they featured her products on their front page and she had tons of orders come in over night. I keep demanding that she teach me something. Sooner or later I'm gonna kidnap her and make her show me how to sew a button on. :)

I just love her stuff!!

I also have a friend Keri who makes EVERYTHING. She even makes her own laundry detergent! She also made this and this. I would love to just come up with this kinda stuff.

This woman, Mrs. MK has become my hero. She is such a precious, godly woman that I would LOVE to meet some day. Look at some of the things she came up with...

Then, of course, there's one of my best friends, Lisa. I could write all of the things that she can do but it would be significantly quicker to write the things she can't do. I'm pretty sure she's never swam with dolphins and I don't think she knows how to build an airplane, but I could be wrong. She's also never learned how to make window treatments out of tree branches or lead an Alaskan dog sled team. Oh never mind, she has done those last two things. See what I mean? Totally annoying. These are some of her GORGEOUS flower arrangements...

Okay, so you've learned I know some pretty talented people :) Even my mom and mother-in-law can crochet some of the most beautiful things. I guess that's just not where my giftedness is. Now I've come to the end of this post and I'm not even sure why I wrote it. :)

I think its just that for the first time in my life I've realized where my calling is, my home. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life finding ways to love and serve Jonathan & Penny (and hopefully a few more kids) and to make my home a place that is inviting and warm. I'm just not sure how to do it besides the cleaning and cooking thing. I don't even know where to start but I'm so excited to learn! Do any of you creative people have any ideas?

Penny's Attempt at Crawling

2010-05-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

Just in the last week Penny has really started doing well at tummy time. I noticed today that she has started trying to get somewhere. I'm not quite sure if she's actually trying to crawl or just scratch an itch on her face. :)

By the way, the spaceship sounds humming in the background isn't the mothership it is our air conditioning. I don't think it's been feeling very well.

I apologize in advance for the baby talk, it annoys me but I just can't help it!

I'm hoping, for the sake of Penny's face, that she'll be able to figure out this crawling thing, even if its pretty early. In the meantime I'll just laugh at her and post videos :)

Four Months Old!!

2010-05-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

My little Penelope is four months old!! I can't believe this time has flown by! She is so much fun. I feel like NOW we are finally in the swing of things. She makes me laugh every single day.

I took her in for her four month appointment last week and basically found out what we had suspected. She is really tall and really skinny. She weighs 13 lbs & 5 oz and is 25 inches tall. They say that they are supposed to double their birth weight by 4 months but she still has a couple of pounds to go. Its such a blessing that she is healthy and gaining weight. She still fits in most of her 0-3 month clothes but has gotten too long for most of her onesies.

They did say that she has a case of eczema so I'm putting lotion on her 5 to 6 times a day and if that doesn't make it better in two weeks then they will put her on a steroid cream.

She started rolling over this week and is really starting to enjoy tummy time which she has loathed up until now. She laughs all the time and has really started finding her voice, which is so stinking cute. She also loves to chew on everything including my face. :) Every time I try to put my face next to hers she tries to eat it.

Ok, here is what you (the moms :)) were waiting for, the pictures :)

Our Home: Kitchen

2010-05-15T15:10:00.000-07:00

We haven't done a lot to this room. But it still looks a little different plus the new appliances add so much! We got them almost a year ago and I am still so thankful!!

Here is the kitchen before...

How it is now (sorry its crooked)...

Another one...

To the right :)...

What we've done...

New fridge

New oven

New microwave

What we want to do...

New dishwasher

Stain cabinets

New cabinet doors

Granite counter tops (where's priceless granite when you need it?!

Oh yeah, they're in WA ;))

Repaint

So this one doesn't look much different. We don't know if we'll be able to make any of the changes besides paint but that would be some of the goals that we have. At least it gives some of my WA friends an opportunity to see our home :)

Next up...

The Deck! :)

My Apologies to Megan. I mean Rachel.

2010-05-08T10:18:00.001-07:00

Through the years people have described me in several different ways. "Smooth" has never been one of them. If you're new to this blog, you should probably understand that this is just a string of several embarrassing moments that take place daily. I thought these moments would lessen as I get older and more mature but now they are happening at a rapid pace.

One of those moments took place last night at my brother's graduation from The Master's College. I was excited to attend, not only to see him graduate but also to reconnect with old friends and classmates.

Jona, ever the gentleman, had dropped me and Penny off and had left to park the car. If he had been with me I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten myself into this situation. I had just walked in the gate and was talking to my friend Kylie, when a girl walked up.

"MEGS!!" I said, "How are you! It's been over a year since I last saw you! I think about you all the time Megschnizzle! Megan, whats been happening? I've missed you Meggo! ..." blah blah blah. It went on and on.

She was so sweet and gracious and was excited to see Pens and catch up a little bit. We laughed a little, I gave her several hugs and then we went on our way.

When Jona finally came in I said, "GUESS WHO I SAW!!!?? Megan Blah-Blah!! (her last name is obviously not Blah-Blah, but for the sake of protecting a little dignity that's what we'll call her)

Jona: "Who is Megan Blah-Blah?"

Me: "Are you kidding? She used to come over all the time. Jona, she's a good friend of ours! Come on, how could you forget her?"

Jona: "Do you mean Rachel Blah-Blah?"

Me: GASP!!

Jona: "Please tell me you didn't call her Megan"

Me: "Oh man!! I am such an idiot! Not only did I call her Megan, but I gave her every "Megish"nickname I possibly could."

Jona: "Oh honey" (spoken sadly)

Jona just shook his head and my face almost exploded in embarrassment.

WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME!

In all fairness, I know a girl named Megan with the same last name as Rachel. However, they are not related and do not regularly swap first names. I texted Rachel several times to apologize & she said she didn't notice. Yeah right. Megan is such a liar.

Cinco De Mayo

2010-05-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Much to my husbands disappointment, I have never liked Mexican food. I just don't understand the point of having to douse your food with hot sauce to get the desired flavor when the end result is the inability to taste the original food.

Because I am a Proverbs 31 woman (cough cough) I occasionally die to self and suggest we eat Mexican. That selfless offer however only extends to Taco Bell and Baja Fresh. The latter is where one of my most embarrassing moments took place.

As weary of spicy Mexican food that I am, I typically order a VERY mild burrito which consists of chicken, lettuce, sour cream and cheese and I go to great lengths to make sure nothing even remotely spicy touches my food. Even pico de gallo. That's where I went wrong.

The exchange went something like this.

Cashier: "Hello welcome to Baja Fresh what can I get for you".

Me: "Hi. Um... I'd like a baja burrito please."

(thankfully i knew it was pronounced "ba-ha" and not "ba-ja")

Cashier: "Okay"

Me: "Actually I'm gonna modify that a bit. I only want chicken, lettuce, sour cream and cheese."

Cashier: "Um okay"

(He's probably doing everything in his power not to roll his eyes at this point)

Me: "Oh. And one more thing. Please leave off the..."

(Shoot. What is that salsa-ish stuff called? Oh yeah...)

Me: "...Cinco De Mayo..."

At this point the cashier nearly chokes and immediately starts cracking up. I obviously realized my mistake and as fast as I could and scanned the menu for the correct word. It didn't matter though, the damage was already done and the cashier is practically on the floor laughing.

Cashier: "Cinco De Mayo?! CINCO DE MAYO?! Ok, I promise, we'll leave all the Mexican holidays off of your burrito!!

I can't even tell you the rest of the story. I think I may have passed out in pure embarrassment. I most likely crawled to the corner and choked my burrito down in shame.

Happy Pico De Gallo!

Our Home: Master Bedroom

2010-05-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Like 500 years ago I promised that I would post pictures of our condo and the changes that we have made to it. I keep forgetting to take pictures but I finally have taken a few. I will try to post some of the pictures during the before during and after process of some of the redecorating/painting/etc. stuff that we have done.

Here is how the bedroom looked before we moved in...

I don't have any pictures of the in between because I was newly pregnant and newly pukey :)

Here it is now...

Here are a few more...

Before...

After

Sorry the pictures are so dark. I took them with my iPhone. I could take them with our camera but I'm not 100% sure how to download them to here.

We had to replace the closet doors because the previous owner wallpapered them and then drew on top of the wall paper with crayons (not joking). I am still not a fan of the curtains but I don't really know what else to do because closet doors are stinking expensive!!

Here is what we have done...

Removed popcorn ceiling

Installed ceiling fan

Removed closet doors

Replaced with curtains

Painted walls

Put up blinds and curtains

What still needs to be done...

Get a closet organizer

Actually put pictures in some of the empty frames :)

Carpet the room (they are coming to measure today!)

Figure out a better solution for the closet doors

Take better pictures!

There you go, for any of you who care! ;) Hopefully I will be doing a couple more of these posts in the next couple of days!

The Bandana

2010-05-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I'm a little insecure about my child's head. She is finally growing some hair but she still has a serious case of male pattern baldness. I'm not the only one who's noticed. As a matter of fact, I got 4 comments today at church about how bald she is. My friend Janel, recently joked that even if it was 105 outside I would still put Pen in a hat to cover up her baldness. I'm not really that insecure or vain. She's a baby for pete's sake, but she does look so cute in some form of head covering.

I recently got this cute little pink bandana as a hand-me-down and I couldn't wait to try it on Pen. She gave me some of the funniest pictures when I put it on her cute little bald head. Here are a few...

She's not looking to excited about the upcoming photo shoot

Just when you think she's warming up to the idea...

I start getting the funny grumpy faces...

"Mom! Cut it out!"

Ok. Little disclaimer here. I know it's probably not ok to make fun of your child. I promise as she grows I'll try to work a little harder not to damage her self esteem (or whatever we're supposed to call it). But sometimes it's just so hard not to laugh at her. In fact, its impossible. So while I can, here's me making fun of how incredibly dumb (but cute!) my daughter looks in this picture! When I saw it I had tears streaming down my cheeks I was laughing so hard!

Here we go...

By the way, does anyone else agree that "bandana" is a stupid word? I must have spell checked it ten times. It just doesn't look right to me. It's kinda like the word "garage". Ok, I'm rambling. Good night!

The Nursing Room Disasters

2010-04-22T00:19:00.000-07:00

Growing up in the church I always heard about "The Cry Room" or the "Nursing Room". It was this mysterious place that I was never allowed to go to. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure where it was. I pictured lush couches, women chatting and laughing, a snack bar, babies laying sweetly in their mother's arms, and a big screen TV that someone had figured out a way to get Gilmore Girls instead of the live feed. I've since matured and desire the live feed over Rory and Lorelai, but still, it sounded pretty sweet.

Plus, the idea of being able to go to the cry room meant that you had finally arrived as an adult. You have a baby that you, the grownup, have to take care of even if it means missing 20 minutes of the sermon. Since having Penny and being directed to the cry room, I have to be honest and say that my dreams have been smashed to pieces.

I hate going into the nursing room at Grace Community. Its not the room itself, I'm thankful that G Com was thoughtful enough to set aside a room for moms with rocking chairs and a changing table but I just feel so out of place. There is so much pressure and awkwardness for me just walking into that room. I am a total amateur.

First of all, all of the rocking chairs are in a circle so you have to stare at the moms across from you or look up at the ceiling like an idiot. I don't know how you could possibly better configure the chairs, but still it is weird to have nothing to look at except for another nursing mom.

I don't know what happens to me when I walk in there. I get so nervous! I'm sure the other women think I'm drunk or something. I've smacked Penny's head on the rocking chair, spilt ALL of the contents of my diaper bag probably three or four times, I've gotten Penny's poop all over the community changing table, and at least twice I've asked how old someones little girl or boy is and gotten the gender wrong. It's just a huge disaster.

Another thing is that I'm mostly feeding Penny formula so she mostly is on bottles which also makes me feel out of place. These women are perfectly blessed milk machines and I am just pulling out my little bottle and formula and spilling powder all over the place. Now, just to clarify, I don't need a pep talk about whether formula is good or bad, or that I shouldn't feel insecure or whatever, fact of the matter is that I do.

I typically get Pen to choke down her bottle as fast as I can then I burp her which, due to my hastiness to feed her and get out of there, results in her spitting up ALL OVER ME, the chair, the floor, the nursery's boppy and probably the baby and mom next to me. Then I sit and wait for the changing table to open up. I cannot begin to tell you the anxiety I have over the stupid changing table!!

It's not as bad now, but in the beginning each diaper change took me forever! I would get up as fast as I can and pray that no one would get up to stand in line behind me. God is most certainly using this to crush my pride so of course, every time I would go to change her Penny has blown out her diaper and gotten poop all over her dress. So I have to change her diaper and her outfit. The line behind me starts to get longer and longer. Then I get poop on my hands, then on the changing table, then on my outfit, then on Penny's hands, then she tries to put her hands in her mouth, then I'm TOTALLY FREAKING OUT and by this point the line is out the door. If you know me you know I'm exaggerating, but one time there was about 4 or 5 women behind me and I got too stressed out and picked up Penny half dressed and just left to go to a bathroom and finish changing her.

Probably my most embarrassing nursing room story so far was at the Good Friday service. It was at night so I figured my chances of not humiliating myself in front of a large group of women were a little bit better. There was only one other woman in the room nursing a tiny little girl. I thankfully had learned at this point that even if the baby is wearing pink from head to toe make no assumptions about gender. So I asked a question that I thought was safe. Boy was I wrong. The conversation went something like this...

Me: Hi! Happy Easter. There's no one else in here huh? (to myself - "what a dumb question, of course no one else is in here")

Lady: Yep, just the two of us.

Me: How old is your sweet baby? (to myself- "there. I complemented her. This has to go well")

Lady: Two and a half.

I have to explain something here. This baby is TINY. I start wracking my brain. Can a two and a half year old really be that small? Maybe the baby has a developmental issue? Do I ask about it? No way. I'll totally offend her if there is nothing wrong with her baby. Wait. Do two and a half year olds still breastfeed? I have got to learn more about feeding kids.

I'm so confused but at this point I haven't learned to just keep my stupid mouth shut.

Me: Wow. Two and a half years?

The poor lady looked at me. Then at her baby. Then me. Then Penny. I'm telling you, for a second I'm pretty sure she considered taking her baby and Penny and making a run for it. She did not want Penny to grow up with this idiot of a mom. After the longest glare ever she said...

Lady: What? No, my baby is two and a half months not two and a half years.

Me: Oh. Of course. I don't know anything about babies.

It was completely silent for the next 20 minutes. It may not seem like a big deal to you but I was so embarrassed my face felt like it was going to explode. She probably could have been a little more gracious, but I still felt like a total idiot.

Its gotten a little bit better but it still is not my favorite place to go. I've learned not to ask a question about gender or age which basically leaves me staring at the ceiling. :)

The Many Faces of Penny

2010-04-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

We have been blessed with a very expressive little girl :) Its kinda humorous actually, my entire life, I've always had people confront me on my facial expressions because it can look like I am glaring or like I am really annoyed. Typically I'm just thinking about something and somehow it communicates that I wanna kill someone. It's looking as though Penny has the same "angry eyes"

Here are some examples (by the way, I've already posted the majority of these on facebook, so sorry for the redundancy) ...

Then there are the "Are you kidding me?!" pictures...

Mom's trying to make her stand up by herself here, not really amused

Then of course, there are the smiley ones...

Sorry, just one more. I couldn't choose. :)

Ok, sorry I know these pictures are going on forever. Here are just a few random ones that make me laugh...

Deer in the headlights

Looks like she's yelling at me

She was so desperate to eat this bunny :)

"Yes Sensei"

Who you lookin at?

I have no idea what this face says but it makes me laugh

The "Popeye"

Penny's evil plot to take over the world

(PS I have no idea whats on in the background :))

I think Penny is just as sick of the pictures as you are :)

To close, here are a couple of my favorites...

Ok, thanks for letting me share some of these pictures with you! I don't mean for this blog to turn into a big Penny picture album, but it seems like its becoming one. I'll try to actually write a post next time instead of making Pen do all the work :)

The Ducky Robe & The Mickey Hat :)

2010-03-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

These are some redundant pictures of a cute ducky robe that Penny's Auntie Wa Wa (Aunt Sarah :)) gave her. For the record, Sarah hates the name "Auntie Wa Wa", so if you could encourage her to like it I would appreciate the help :) Auntie Wa Wa spoils Penny like crazy. A perfect example is by buying her a ROBE. What 2 month old needs a robe? Apparently Penny does :) And believe it or not, now she has two. Here are some pictures I got of Pen today trying out her robe after her bath.

She's not really sure what she thinks...

"What do you think mom, does it make me look fat?"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Don't lie to me mom..."

"Ok, you're right, I look super cute"

Ok, I'm a little embarrassed about how cheesy that was. :) Moving on to the Mickey hat...

The Johnson family are big Disneyland fans. Before Penny was even born her Grandma Johnson bought her this hat. It is really cute but kinda looks incredibly ridiculous on Penny. I can't wait to put her in it at Disneyland. It made me laugh so hard today. Sorry for the weird facial expressions and the death grip I have on Pen's arm to keep her upright :)

I have no idea what this face means except for that it

seems like she thinks she's pretty cool

Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever seen?!

Stupid Shots & Other Updates

2010-03-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

I thought I would try to write a quick blog post since Pen is asleep and the house is mostly clean ;)

Have I mentioned how much fun this all is?! Penny will be 10 weeks old tomorrow! She is showing more and more of her little personality and we are just eating up every second.

The poor little thing had to have her shots last Thursday. I was dreading it so much. Every time I thought about it it made me sad. Just look at that face to the left. That's the kind of mood she was in right before they jabbed her. She was so confused but really handled it like a trooper. I am really thankful that God has given men the ability to create vaccinations to keep us healthy but its sad to have to watch her go through that. She only cried briefly but felt miserable for the next two days.

The worst part was that they didn't have two of the vaccinations that day so I had to bring her back in yesterday to finish. So she again spent yesterday and most of today feeling crummy. I've been keeping up with the Tylenol but look how sad she looks even while she is sleeping...

All her stats were good. She's 11 lbs and 23 1/2 in. tall. I finally figured out the whole percentile thing. She's right on track. It does look like she may have GERD (gastrointestinal reflux) because the kids spits up ALL DAY LONG and she is not a happy spitter-upper. Our pediatrician is giving us some different things to try to help her. Other than that, everything looks good!

In other news, I wanted to post these pictures of Penny at Crossroads. Rick Holland regularly introduces new kids in the ministry "lion king" style. We didn't think he would do it with Pen because we are not in leadership but it was pretty humbling to have an entire gym praying for your baby that she would love the Lord and serve Him with her life.

One funny thing about these pictures. Lisa Martin "tagged" me and Jona in them on facebook. When I went to see who posted them it was someone who spoke Russian. I'm not sure if they were visiting that day or if they belong in Crossroads, but the picture had several Russian comments below it and none in English so I have no idea what they could be saying about Penny. For all I know they could be calling her ugly :)

The scheduling has been going fairly well. It's hard to set a schedule when you go out all the time and I haven't really been able to figure out how to work around the nap time stuff. I don't want to be a slave to it and as a wise woman recently told me, its there to serve us not to stress us out (or something along those lines :)). She does not like her crib very much but it seems to be getting better.

Anywho... sorry there's not much to say, but at least my family will be happy for some new pictures :) So here are a few more to leave you with...

Here's Pen watching TV with her mom. She doesn't really seem to approve :)

Although someone will probably call CPS on me, I just couldn't

resist drawing a smiley face on her cute little belly :)

Here's a close-up :)

Morning time with Daddy (aka, my hot husband)

I was so sad this picture got cut off. She was laughing SO hard!

Some other happy pictures...

Finally, my sweet little girl all worn out