Our Little Angel

Lately sleep has not come easy. Tonight is one of those nights where I've been awake for a couple of hours. I've gotten up to get drinks of water, turn the air off, then on, then off again. I finally decided to see if blogging will help. This will probably be kinda long so I may split it up into two different parts.

I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago and announced to the blogosphere that we are expecting our second baby. We were absolutely thrilled.

We have been trying for almost a year to conceive another baby. I have some slight fertility issues so I have been taking general fertility drugs every month to improve our chances of getting pregnant. It was a difficult time to get our hopes up every month only to be disappointed with a negative pregnancy test.

God was so gracious to us and He placed Godly women in my life to point me to Christ and my sufficiency in Him instead of placing my sufficiency in being able to get pregnant.

We had close friends and family who would pray that God would bless us with another baby and He so graciously answered our prayer on June 5Th when I learned we were 5 weeks pregnant!

Anyway, in this last blog post I wrote about how I found out, how I told Jona (such a sweet, funny moment), how we told our parents and how we taught Penny to announce that she will be a "sissy (sister)".

I was about to finish the blog post and post it when we left for the Resolved conference in Palm Springs. I decided I would post it when I came back. Our time there was extremely difficult. It was blazingly hot, our car broke down, Penny barely slept, I threw up a lot, and several other little trials kept hitting us in the face one by one.

We came home and the very next morning I got to take my mom with us to our ultrasound. I was about 8 weeks pregnant and I was excited for her to see the heartbeat we had seen thumping furiously the week before.

Jona had to wait in the waiting room with Pen because she was having a major breakdown and would not settle down. Our wonderful OB showed us the baby and said, "I can't quite see the heartbeat."
My heart instantly sank. But he didn't seem to concerned because my uterus was tilted and it was something he said was common at this size. He spent a good amount of time looking but ultimately decided not to be worried and to come back in a week so we could look again. I believe at that point I already knew something was wrong but my mom & Jona weren't concerned. I decided to try and distract myself and to pray that our little one was alright.

I hope in writing this you can seen how God's kindness to us simply abounded. An example: Almost right after out appointment I prayed that God would provide a distraction to make the week pass more quickly. Immediately we were asked by dear friends to house sit in their beautiful home. We got to spend the week watching movies and swimming in their pool.

Jona, Penny & I got a cold but it wasn't anything too bad. On the 4th, Jona had to work so Pen and I watched settled in to watch a movie & some fireworks. She snuggled against my chest at about 4pm and by 10pm hadn't moved an inch. I should have known something was wrong.

She barely would eat and she would whimper if moved her. I kept thinking about our appointment the next morning and was too distracted to access little Penny's health like I should have done.

Thankfully my brother-in-law graciously brought me over some Tylenol & a thermometer to see if she had a fever. She did. It was about 103.7 but I gave her some Tylenol and she went to sleep. I watched the Macy's fireworks and fell asleep a little while later.