I'll be honest, I was shocked by the number of women who shared with me that they too had miscarried a baby. I couldn't believe it. At least every other message was someone who had gone through the same thing, if not worse (multiple miscarriages or even stillbirths). It has taught me that God's grace is most definitely sufficient. This has hurt like crazy but watching how others have healed, or are in the process of healing has shown me how God provides.
I have been so humbled by friends who have gone through horrible pain with stillbirths, miscarriages and infertility who have taken the time to share with me what God has taught them. I'm also thankful for the friends who haven't experienced that pain but who have come along side and hurt as if they had.
We ended up having to have another D&C, which was unexpected, but I ended up being so thankful for it. It relieved a lot of pain, so I am on my way to being almost completely healed physically.
LAPD allowed Jona to take a lot of time of work so we were together nearly every second these last two weeks. Those were probably the sweetest weeks of our entire marriage. He is such a good, good man. I cannot believe how blessed I am to be his wife! Today was his first day back and I already miss him so much.
We are getting back into the swing of things. My darling Pen is home and is making us laugh all day long. Pray for her if you think of it, I'm almost 100% positive her ear infections have returned. It is time for her to get tubes put in. We have a lot of insurance stuff to work out so hopefully that will be tackled early next week.
I am still struggling with my nights. I'm having a hard time sleeping and can't stop dreaming about sad things. I have worked to find a sense of normalcy. I used heavy cleaning supplies in my bathroom tonight and took ibuprofen which were two things I hadn't been able to bring myself to do. You are not supposed to do either of those while pregnant. I know its silly, but it kinda brought closure.
God has been so kind. He has provided immensely. I am more in love with Him and I'm more in love with my husband and my little girl. I'm thankful for my friends, I'm thankful for God's word, and I'm thankful for what God teaches us through trials.
My sweet friend Michelle shared this passage with me and I have clung tightly to it...
"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord.
I say, 'You are my God.
My times are in Your hand'"