Its so funny to me that this pregnancy is already so hazy! I really think that it was a way better pregnancy than Penny's. I felt so much better over all and even though we got sick SO MANY TIMES, it still seemed to go much more smoothly.
Now that its over I have to say that I was so terrified of being pregnant with a boy! The second we found out Dallas's gender I felt a little sense of disappointment that I wasn't going to be a mom to all girls. I could easily imagine loving a little girl as much as I loved my darling Penelope and I felt like I was capable of handling the drama that comes from raising girls but I didn't think I was up to the task of raising a stinky little boy :). I think if I had said this during my pregnancy someone would have smacked me especially since we wanted this little one so badly it shouldn't have mattered whether it was a boy or girl but I guess to me it did. I am SERIOUSLY delighted that I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm so in love with Dallas just writing his name puts tears in my eyes! (more about that later)
I feel like I haven't even had time to write in my journal so I am going to document as much about these past six weeks here if just for the sake of being able to recount everything that has happened before I try to write it in the kid's journals. So here we go!
The days before Dallas's scheduled c-section I was having so many contractions. I thought for sure that I would have him earlier because I was even having contractions close together for so long before he was born and he was breech so there was a chance that the c-section would be a week earlier. I was even put in the hospital a week before he came because I was feeling really sick and my OB almost let me have him that day except for that the little stinker flipped right before Dr. Frield's performed the ultrasound. The second I went home though it hit me that I only had one week left with Penny.
I was such a mess that week. I felt so guilty and sad that I was ending this season with Pen as my only child. It may sound so ridiculous but I just was really sad that our time was ended just the two of us. I always said that I wished that my kids could be closer together but I really had become so thankful for the relationship that her and I had been able to develop and that I had gotten to pour all of my energy into my little Penelope Mae for three years without there being any other kids to divide my attention. I can absolutely see now how God gave that time to us as a gift.
The night before the c-section Jona and I were both emotional knowing that this would change our little Pens and that she would now be pushed into the role of big sister. We went out to dinner with my family and I couldn't eat I was just really overwhelmed and scared to have another c-section and to be away from Penny. My brother even asked if I was nervous and I burst into tears right in the middle of Applebees :) Even though this is a side note, I have to say that I was so blown away by Jona's tenderness with my emotions. He didn't make me feel dumb or hormonal even once. He was so understanding about the whole thing.
We dropped Penny off at my awesome in-laws house and sniffled our goodbyes to her and went home to get a good night's sleep before heading into the hospital early the next morning...
|Our last picture before little Dallas joined our family!|