Walk Off the Pounds!

I'll be honest, I have never in my life completed a workout video. Its not necessarily because I'm lazy (although I am), its because I have never seen one that isn't ridiculous.

I have tried a few...

1. Cindy Crawford- I always felt awkward because there is no way that working out in a swimsuit could be comfortable. She just irritated me.

2. Taebo- You have got to be kidding me. There is no way I could ever kick that high not to mention all of his back up women look like men. I may have been crazy, but I was pretty sure I saw him training this poor lady by my apartment the other day. She was carrying two tires. I drove away as quickly as possible in fear that he might make me carry my car the rest of the way home.

3. Jillian Michaels- I actually ordered these, and they accidentally sent me two sets, but I'm pretty sure that Jillian told them to because she could sense how incredibly out of shape I was. Anyway, I tried it (at least a couple of minutes) but she would tell me to do something then break into hysterical laughter. No thanks, I'll stick with the love handles. 

4. Yoga- Sure, I love resting the arch of my foot on the small of my back. Lets just say the "praying locust" position and I didn't get along to well. How is that supposed to be a workout anyway? It just looks like she's trying her hardest to cut off the blood flow to her brain.

Ok, so I may have exaggerated a little when I told you that I had tried all of these. What I really meant is that I put on my work out clothes and tennis shoes, I put the DVD in, then I sit down and watch it. They always move too fast and I just end up looking like a retarded break dancer on crack.

 I don't ever really do any of the exercises, I just think about how stupid I would look if I tried. Then I turn off the DVD and change back into my normal clothes. I always feel quite accomplished when I'm through. I think it's because, in my mind, I really did workout.

Well, all that changed tonight. I recently (ok six or seven months ago) purchased an exercise video entitled "Walk Off the Pounds". Two things caught my attention.... 

The word "walk" & the instructor's eyebrows (they're huge!)

I decided, if bushy eyebrow lady could do it, so could I! I actually completed an entire session, and no I didn't just watch, I participated! The great thing about it is that you don't have to run, squat, kick above your ears or anything like that. You just have to walk. For the most part it was great!

There are a couple of weird things about it such as...

1. Her back up aerobics people won't shut up. They talk the entire time. Every once in a while the instructor will say, "ok ladies, how ya doin?" which then would be a perfect time for a quick "good" or "great" but instead its, "I just had a baby... keeps me up at night... my uncle has diabetes... I need to get rid of this flabby bottom... I have a major in psychology...." I'm not joking, they won't stop talking and its about the most random things.

2. I mentioned that she addresses them as "ladies". That would normally make sense except for the fact that there is one old man in the back. They never talk to him and he never talks back. Its like he just snuck on to the set and they don't know he's there.

3. Another weird thing to add to that is that the girls are all wearing a different outfit every work out, not gramps! He wears the same black pants and grey shirt.

4. Her eyebrows. They are the true star of the video. They probably even have their own agent. I sometimes misstep just because I can't stop staring at them.

Anyway, Grandpa aside, I really like this work out video! I'll let you know if anything happens to my love handles or the lady with the caterpillars on her forehead.

How Cute is This?

So, there is another post coming soon, but in the meantime, I found this on my friend Leanna's blog. How cute is this! Stick with it till the end to hear what she says.

I tried to look up more videos of her on youtube, but apparently she grew into a bit of a drama queen and the other videos just gave me dumb-chills. I guess we all have to stop being cute at some time in our lives. I'm still waiting for it to happen to me ;)

O Sweet Carbs, I miss you!

So like I said previously, I have told all my little carb friends to run away and leave me alone for a little while, like forever. They refuse to stay away and like to dance in front of my face about every five minutes. 

I even dream about carbs, Seriously. In my dreams they look like those talking m&m from the commercials. Except for that they are completely white and smiley. They are sad that they can't eat lunch with me anymore. I'm sad too. 

Anyway... now that you think I'm a total freak, I found a couple of solutions!

By the way, if you happen to be more knowledgeable about nutrition than I (which believe me, isn't hard) and it turns out that all of these supposedly low carb foods I've found are actually extremely bad for you, don't tell me. If you rain on my health parade, I might have to kill you.

1. Cashews!!!

Who knew I would fall so in love with cashews! I can only eat like 10 at a time, because they're high in fat, but they are amazing!

2. Gum!!

I daily praise the Lord for the little blessing of sugarfree chewing gum! It curbs craving and leaves my breath oh so sweet!

3. Pineapple!!

Holy cow! Is pineapple not the best fruit EVER!! I'm falling more and more in love with it every day!!

4. Whole Grain/Wheat/Nut bread

I can only have one slice every morning, but it is like eating an ice cream sundae to be able to add bread to my diet! Ok, not really an ice cream sundae, but I'm counting my blessings!!

5. Crystal Light

Since I am drinking 500 (no, I am not exaggerating) gallons of water a day, its nice to give it a little flavor once in a while. Crystal Light pink lemonade is to die for!

6. String Cheese

I love this stuff! Its good and its fun! Be warned however, the low fat stuff is no bueno!

7. South Beach Protein Bars

I have never been a big fan, but these aren't too bad! Especially not the peanut butter ones! 

8. Trader Joe's Stuffed Chicken Breast

This is the by far the best thing that I have gotten to eat on this diet. Poor Pec had it for dinner three times last week. Sorry babe! But it actually feels like I'm eating real food!

Ok. As I'm reading over this list I'm beginning to see how pathetic I am. But... my body is supposed to be a temple and right now its still a Chuck E Cheese or something along those lines! 

For now, the rest of you can keep my little friends company while you eat your...

 :(

                                                                                                                                                                                

Happy Mother's Day Darlene!!

I am also blessed to have a new mom this year! Darlene Johnson/Mom/soon-to-be Grandma (again not by us :)), is a great mother-in-law!

If you have read my precious husband's story of how we met, you know that his mom is to thank for introducing me to my wonderful husband. I will never be able to repay her for the gift of her son!

Darlene is more generous than anyone I have ever met. If she hears of a need somewhere she is the first person to try to meet that need. Phil, my father-in-law, is hopeless without her. She is a master in the area of submission. She works tirelessly to serve her family. 

I cannot wait to see her in the role of Grandma! She loves children and I am so excited for her to be the Grandma of our future children (key word: Future). 

Pecadillo loves to tell people how his mom has always supported him and his brothers no matter what hobby or craft they pursued. She is loved by all of those who know her. I am so honored to have her as my mother-in-law!

I love you Darlene/Mom!

Happy Mother's Day Oma!!

Helen Zimmer, otherwise known as... Oma, Mommy, Marm, Bess, Mom, Helen Annie, Mother, Mommy Dearest (she hates that one).... I mostly call her Oma. Don't ask where it comes from. I think it means Grandma in German. Don't worry, she isn't a Grandma yet. Come to think of it, I don't think she's German either. :)

My Oma is everything I wish I was. She is fun, beautiful, submissive, EXTREMELY GODLY, loving, caring, selfless, kind, hilarious, adventurous, hard working... the list goes on and on. 

I have never in my life met a woman who reads her Bible more than my mom. She loves the Lord with all her heart and that carries down to every other aspect. I talk to my mom every single morning. She always listens, provides counsel when appropriate, makes me laugh and makes me love God more. 

One of my favorite memories of my mom was my seventeenth birthday. My family was in a bit of a hard spot financially and I wasn't really expecting anything big. I came out to the kitchen to eat breakfast and my mom was crying by herself. She gave me a hug and kiss and told me happy birthday. I asked her why she was crying and she told me that she wished that she could have done more to celebrate my birthday. Then she handed me a gift.

To continue my story you need to know that my mom LOVES "Happy" Perfume from Clinique. It was her all time favorite perfume, but its pretty expensive. Someone had given it to her for Christmas and she was SO excited. I'm pretty sure she sprayed it on herself like 4 or 5 times a day. She loves it. My birthday is January 18th, so she had only had it for a few weeks. So....

I opened my gift and it was the half full bottle of perfume. On it she wrote, "I know its not much but I love you. Happy Birthday." We both cried together. I will never forget the selflessness of my sweet mom, giving me the best thing she had.

I am so blessed to call her my mom and my friend! 

I love you Oma!

Where I've Been...

Hello to the two of you who still check this blog! 

I'm sorry that its been FOREVER since I've written last. I promise that I won't allow this blog to resemble my sweet husband's, who only graces us with his blogging presence once a year.

I don't think I was ever more busy than I was in college. People would always tell me, "just wait, life just gets busier". That statement always made me want to punch them in the mouth, but maybe there was some truth to it after all. 

These are a few of the things that have been taking up all of my time for the last 3 or so weeks...

1. Choir tour- as you learned about in my last post. I spent a few days with my screaming, texting, crying, laughing beautiful junior high and high school kids. 

2. Teaching Piano- I recently added 500 piano students. Ok, its only 10, but it feels like 500. If you are reading this and have ever had me teach you or your children, I apologize.  I don't think that I'm a horrible teacher. I just am extremely inconsistent because my life is way to busy and irregular to be able to block out a half hour every single week. I do love teaching piano though!

3. Starving myself- Yes, I am being sarcastic, at least kinda. The newlywed life hasn't treated my metabolism too kindly to say the least. I may or may not have put on a few pounds or 10 or 20. I have started this good/horrible Lindora diet, that actually seems to be working! I am proud to say I have lost 2 pounds! Just kidding, I'm up to 16. The problem with this diet is that if I eat a piece of bread that 16 pounds runs straight back to me and attaches itself to my rear. This is really no excuse for not blogging but it has made life a bit less funny.

4. Moving- YEAAAAA!!! I am still in the excitement faze and not quite into the "I want to shoot myself" faze. I've packed a whopping 10 boxes so far and that was only J's DVDs. Escrow is looking good, I think. It is absurd to me how difficult the process has to be. Why can't we just trade some cows and chickens and be done with it!

5. Work/The Play!!- I just finished my SCCS Spring play, And Then There Were None. It went really well, I think. The students did an incredible job. It was a little stressful, ok A LOT stressful, but I'm once again, glad I did it. This whole last week and a half I was putting in 18 hour days. It was pretty intense. But no one died, and I only sent one kid to the ER. So I'm thinking it was pretty successful! I now have two weeks until the elementary spring play. It never ends.

I'm not 100% sure what my husband looks like anymore, but summer is just around the corner!! J was talking to me about possibly getting a summer job. If you know anyone who wants to pay me to sit at home, watch movies and dream about carbs give them my number!