I Am Completely Insane

Well, it became quite clear to me this morning, as I received several kind text messages, that not everyone got the memo that we aren't having Penny today.

We went to what I thought was my last OB appointment last Wednesday and after praying and praying, Penny had indeed turned. I kinda figured she had since about the night before I experienced this mind blowing contraction out of nowhere. I was so thankful that I didn't have to have a c-section but then found out that the doctor couldn't induce me for Friday like we had originally been told, because I had made absolutely no progress. I very quickly realized that my family would miss the birth. I cried the rest of the appointment and the entire way home.

Just a quick note, I realize the hormones have completely taken over and I am officially out of my mind. If you read this and are annoyed by me, I'm right there with ya. Anyway... our doc (who we adore) told us to come back Monday to check and see if I had made any progress. My parents were actually boarding their flight and my sisters were set to fly out the next day. We had to cancel the girls flight and will now have to see if they are both able to come right after the birth.

You'd think that it would be no big deal, we are still having a beautiful (at least we hope so ;)), healthy, little girl sometime within the next few weeks, but for some reason my brain has not been able to compute it. I literally have felt like I lost my opportunity. Jonathan keeps telling me, "you do realize she's still there right? You are going to have her. Be thankful!". I realized in the wee hours of the morning that I actually thought I was never going to have her. Like this morning was her only chance and now I will be pregnant forever. I was shocked I got pregnant in the first place, then I was shocked that my body sustained the pregnancy. I was never really surprised that my body would triple in size :), but I realize again that I'm doubting its ability to actually give birth. I told you I'm crazy.

Sometimes it blows my mind to see how self focused and significant that I think I am. I can't believe the destruction and pain that is going on in Haiti and yet all I can think about is that I don't get to schedule things the way I would like them. Yuck. So much for holding this with an open hand! So, I think I've gotten a serious attitude check and hopefully I will enjoy this time I have before I'm a mom.

God has blessed us beyond what I could have ever imagined and I am so grateful that He has chosen us to be parents to little Penny! Can't wait to give you another update! Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers.

PENNY IS COMING!!

I can not begin to tell you how weird it is that I am going to be a mom in 3 days and 12 hours!!! What in the world!! I'll be honest and admit that I'm freaked out, terrified, thrilled, excited, happy and anxious all at the same time.

I am so grateful that God has bestowed this little blessing on us. I am praying earnestly that I won't take her for granted, that I will raise her to love the Lord and that I will hold her with an open hand.

I should probably back up to my last couple of OB appointments. She has been solidly breech since 24 weeks. She literally hasn't budged her little head from my right ribs. I have been so excited about her staying breech because I figured it would let her come sooner and I wasn't opposed to a c-section because at least everything would be planned. Now... I feel a little differently. Ok, really differently. I DO NOT want a c-section. I completely understand that for a breech baby it is the safest option, but I am praying that she will change her position. If she doesn't then we will deal and just be fine.

We are scheduled for the c-section Friday, the 15th @ 7:30am. Our plans have changed a little and we are going to try for a ECV (external cephalic version) which is where they apply a ton of pressure to your belly and manually manipulate the baby into a head-down position. It is supposed to be pretty painful, but if it works and the baby turns then I can hopefully be induced immediately and have her normally. If it doesn't work then I'll go ahead and have the c-section.

Praise the Lord we have a great doctor and trust him completely. If he decides to change the plan then that is totally fine with us and I will in no way put up a fight. Ok, sorry if thats way too much information.

We are getting ready for little Pen to come. The nursery is almost completely set up (thanks to my amazing sister) and the car seat is loaded in the car. My body is probably the most ready! I have been so uncomfortable, itchy, swollen, and have had some really intense contractions. My walk has passed the stage of waddling and now I just kinda roll :)

I am hoping to post once more before D-day, but in case I don't, I will have Jona give updates. Ahhhh!! I'm so excited!

Catching Up

Thats right! Our little Penelope Mae will be here in 6 days!! I can't even believe that it is that close! At the same time, it feels like an eternity away. But before I get into all that, I'll catch up on the last couple of weeks...

Christmas was awesome. We spent Christmas with the Johnson's early because we weren't all going to be there for Christmas day. Phil/Hoss/Jona's dad made his famous chicago style pizza. It really is rather amazing. My dad insists that the main reason he let me marry Jona was so that I would steal the recipe. We had a really great time with them and they spoiled us (and Penny) rotten!

A few days later my entire family had an entire week of celebrating Christmas together. It was so much fun. My amazing sister, Sarah, is the queen of making family get togethers fun. She arranged for us to play games, decorate cookies and win prizes. We had such a good time. I really appreciated them all coming out since I was a little sad that I couldn't go home to Washington for the holidays. I actually cooked Christmas dinner for us and it went so well! I could hardly walk and everyone had to get out of the kitchen if I wanted to turn around (thats only a little bit of an exaggeration, I am gimondo) :), but everything turned out really good! Praise the Lord!

Incredibly, even though my family had a whole week to just sit around and vacation they became turbo blessings. They cleaned our entire house. Not just cleaned, but organized, fixed, straightened, scrubbed... Everything!!! My dad replaced all of our light fixtures and probably electrocuted himself about 50 times. It was so funny to hear him yelp from the other room. :) Our condo is looking better and better! I didn't even realize how much stress I was feeling over how unorganized everything was. They really were a blessing to us.

Ok, well I wrote this blog like three days ago so I'm gonna go ahead and post it and then hopefully write another blog about Penny coming!