We went to what I thought was my last OB appointment last Wednesday and after praying and praying, Penny had indeed turned. I kinda figured she had since about the night before I experienced this mind blowing contraction out of nowhere. I was so thankful that I didn't have to have a c-section but then found out that the doctor couldn't induce me for Friday like we had originally been told, because I had made absolutely no progress. I very quickly realized that my family would miss the birth. I cried the rest of the appointment and the entire way home.
Just a quick note, I realize the hormones have completely taken over and I am officially out of my mind. If you read this and are annoyed by me, I'm right there with ya. Anyway... our doc (who we adore) told us to come back Monday to check and see if I had made any progress. My parents were actually boarding their flight and my sisters were set to fly out the next day. We had to cancel the girls flight and will now have to see if they are both able to come right after the birth.
You'd think that it would be no big deal, we are still having a beautiful (at least we hope so ;)), healthy, little girl sometime within the next few weeks, but for some reason my brain has not been able to compute it. I literally have felt like I lost my opportunity. Jonathan keeps telling me, "you do realize she's still there right? You are going to have her. Be thankful!". I realized in the wee hours of the morning that I actually thought I was never going to have her. Like this morning was her only chance and now I will be pregnant forever. I was shocked I got pregnant in the first place, then I was shocked that my body sustained the pregnancy. I was never really surprised that my body would triple in size :), but I realize again that I'm doubting its ability to actually give birth. I told you I'm crazy.
Sometimes it blows my mind to see how self focused and significant that I think I am. I can't believe the destruction and pain that is going on in Haiti and yet all I can think about is that I don't get to schedule things the way I would like them. Yuck. So much for holding this with an open hand! So, I think I've gotten a serious attitude check and hopefully I will enjoy this time I have before I'm a mom.
God has blessed us beyond what I could have ever imagined and I am so grateful that He has chosen us to be parents to little Penny! Can't wait to give you another update! Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers.