Monday, July 27, 2009

The Adventures of the Pecadillos Pt 1

So once again, it's been little while since I've written. Late last night I officially ended my summer vacation. A lot has happened in these last few weeks, I will try not to bore you with all the details but their are definitely some things worth writing about!

Pec (my dear husband) and I decided that we would try to get away up to Washington before I had to go back to work and before the baby comes. Due to the amount of "day" sickness (calling it morning sickness is a BIG FAT lie) I have been experiencing, we decided to find a hotel halfway up the coast.

We found an $800 a night hotel room for $150 a night! This place looked amazing and were so excited but we were soon to discover it was discounted for a reason! The drive up to Mendocino was a story all by itself. It took several more hours than we anticipated. Mostly due to the fact that we. got. very. lost. It is way too long of a story which involves 2 hours in the woods, demon statues, fire fighters and no bathrooms. Like I said, it's a long story and it would probably bore you. The real party actually started when we got to our hotel.

In order to do the story justice, I will allow my husband (who is a far better story teller than I) to finish telling this part of the story. These are his tweets that he wrote that night and the next morning...

Driving through cow country. This part of California smells like a giant, open-air AM/PM.

The journey to our hotel was a blogpost in and of itself. After we got settled in the room, we discovered we weren't alone.

There was a bat in our room and it was flying at us like a Japanese kamikaze pilot.

I've never seen a bat before aside from at the zoo. I nearly soiled my pants.

In fact, had I not been in the bathroom when the trophy wife discovered the bat, I'm quite sure I would find myself in need of a new wardrobe.

We're at a spa by the beach in Mendocino. There are only 10 rooms and no on duty staff after 9 PM. It's very secluded. Translation: no help.

Luckily, there was a hotel masseuse that looked and talked exactly like Peter Lorre, who was on his way out the door who helped us.

He was probably 7 feet tall—no joke. He had to do the limbo to get thru our door—and he had big Carly Simon/Gary Busey teeth.

He also had a creepy Eastern European accent that woulda sounded menacing had he not been prancing away from the bat.

Then another guy showed up with a pool net that was still wet and dripping chlorine all over our room and bed.

After literally 45 minutes of me & the pool guy trying to catch the bat in the room (Peter Lorre was in the hall, hiding) we finally got it.

Literally, for 45 minutes I watched this flying rodent soar all over our room, landing on our stuff. I'm pretty sure my luggage has rabies.

To be honest, I wasn't exactly John Wayne during those 45 minutes, although I did almost shoot it numerous times.

Let's just say I'm glad there weren't too many other people around to observe my "power stance" whenever dracula flew by.

Still, at least I was in the room. Peter Lorre was out in the hall and had to be consoled by the trophy wife.

The only person tall enough to reach the bat was the same guy who was trying to hide in the hall way. Wonderful.

Anyways, after 45 minutes of trying to catch the beast that wikipedia calls a "natural reservoir for many zoonotic pathogens" we got it.

We were trying to catch it in the net (the pool guy was a hippie) but accidentally hit it with the pole and it fell to the ground, lifeless.

With that, the pool guy scooped up little Adam West (we named it) in the net and left the room to go dispose of it. He was very apologetic.

Our room has chlorine water everywhere, net marks all over the walls and ceilings, and probably more viruses than a petrie dish.

And there's no one here who can get us into another room. Fantastic.

On his way out, Peter Lorre offered us 20% off the cost of a massage at the spa. Yeah, that's gonna make it all better.

Somehow, the trophy wife was already able to fall asleep. Not me. I want to be awake when lockjaw sets in.

Well, there you have it. We were originally planning on staying two nights but after deciding that the romantic atmosphere had been squashed (quite similarly to the bat), we chose to continue on our trip...

1 comment:

  1. that is one of the funniest things i have EVER read. i'm glad you guys survived and have a wonderful story for posterity. :O)